* My daughter, TLNG, is going to be four on Monday. FOUR. Ohmymothereffinghell. I can't believe [we made it this far] it. Four seems, well, it seems like a little kid without any baby left and although there will always be that *residual baby* of mine who resides in there, she is longer of limb and more sophisticated of speech and just generally kid-like.
* She is also currently driving me 100% completely insane. Well. Not 100%. But CLOSE. You know how when you have a newly-minted two year old and everyone is all TERRIBLE TWOS! TWO YEAR OLDS ARE CRAZY! TWO WILL KILL YOU!! and they are and they almost do but then your two year old turns three and everyone is like, OH MY GOD, THREE IS WORSE THAN TWO! WHY DON'T PEOPLE KNOW THAT?! THREE IS TERRRRRIBLE!! and then your three year old is turning four and you think 'PHEW,' but yet, she's still wreaking fucking HAVOC in the library? and having complete temper-fits in the grocery store? and pulling kids' hair and pushing them in the gym kids' club?
Yeah. THAT.
With the added benefit of the ability to annoy you...ON PURPOSE.
I'm not going to make it.
* I find, though, that her development comes in waves. That every six months or so, I'm dealing with a week (or a few weeks) of destabilized behavior. For her that means acting out and doing things that she hasn't done in a long time. Pushing kids. Trying to hit me when she's mad. Getting super-duper frustrated with things. Then, as whatever her little brain or body is trying to accomplish gets worked out, she settles.
*Even though I know this, it's increasingly difficult (for ME) to tolerate behavior like the gym-club pushing, taking swipes when she's pissed and the darting behind the desk in the library. I start to wonder whether the behavior is *normal,* if you know what I mean. I know she has a tough temperament and I would be lying if I said I can't imagine where she gets it. Ahem. But it's one of those things you see out of the corner of your eye and when you turn and look at it full-on, it's gone.
* What a nice birthday(ish) post, eh? I'll write a better one for Monday. Maybe. But still, let me say, that whatever intensity my girl has in these more, er, difficult traits, she carries the same dazzling intensity for her more desirable ones. She's sharp with a memory that would astound you. She's witty and funny and loves to make people laugh. She's affectionate and caring and has a shy vulnerability that makes my heart ache to see.
When she's not screeching like an owl, just to rattle my cage.
Plus, look.
Beauty.
That never changes.
Is that that same little baby who used to cry all the time? How is that even possible? She's a beautiful child now.
I love hearing all the wonderful traits she's developed - more! more!
Posted by: mom-101 | June 03, 2011 at 06:44 AM
Four is good. We've been here for almost two months and it totally blows three right out of the water. You'll still see glimpses of baby. Not all the time, but just when you think it's gone, BOOM.
Posted by: ClumberKim | June 03, 2011 at 07:47 AM
I feel your pain. I notice the same thing with my son who turned 4 last November. Every couple of weeks/months something new turns on in his rapidly developing brain and for a few days my normally sunny, laughing, generally follows direction kid is possessed by Godzilla. He does everything you described. But then it passes like a cloud over the sun and we are back to our normally scheduled programming. Like you, in those terrible days, I fear that he has taken some horrible and permanent turn for the worse, and I will never get the happy back. But it always comes back. I am not sure how I will survive the teen years though.
Posted by: MidLifeMama | June 03, 2011 at 10:58 AM
cycles of equilibrium and disequilibrium!!! yay!! and as long as they last six months and go up and down, that means you are doing everything absolutely 100% right!! oh joy!!
(4 is the best)
Posted by: lora | June 03, 2011 at 12:04 PM
I totally, and completely get this. Looking back, I see it more as a pendulum, swinging from one side to the other. Calm, rational behaviour, transition in the middle, irrational batshit uncontrolled behaviour on the other side. The swinging cycle just takes longer to go from one side to the other, as they get older. When I look at my 12-yr-old daughter, I remember the 4-yr-old her that drove me INSANE.
Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous :)
Posted by: amy | June 08, 2011 at 01:49 PM