Fun Fact Friday!!

Ho ho! You thought it was dead, didn't you?! (So did I. Totally.)

- For whatever reason, (it's totally a Mental Glitch, I know,) it kind of skeeves me when a man buys a woman clothes as a gift. I know it's crazy and if your man is tuned in enough to know [what size you wear] your taste in clothes and he buys you nice little gifts of clothes, that's awesome [but for whatever reason, a little skeevy. I don't know why. MENTAL GLITCH.]

- I was once watching an episode of Giada and her cute husband came home and brought her a present, a [tiny] pair of white pants and she was all excited and was all, 'I'm going to wear these awesome [size minus 4] pants to dinner!' and I was all, 'Hm. How...sweet [and a little ookey]!'

- Once, when I was dating The Tool, he bought me an *outfit* for Christmas. I'm saying that he went to The Limited, [flirted his ass off with the first woman he could find, I'm absolutely sure] approached the sales girl and asked her to pick out an entire outfit for me. She basically pointed him to a manikin and he purchased every single thing that manikin was wearing, down to the crazy bracelet with a million little balls on it. (The bracelet was the only thing I kept. Swear.)

- Do you guys remember those? The days of Pearls on Steroids? An over-crowded strand of whatever with all kinds of jingling and jangling?

It kind of looked like this, only mine was shades of bronze, copper and brown:

 

- When I was a surly pre-teen, my mom got me 'The Sweater' one year for Christmas. Jazzed as I was to get clothes for gifts back then, this sweater...it was..tragic. It was black and its front was host to a bazillion strawberries.  The strawberries were connected by a vine. On each cuff was a detail, two little berries. The sweater was expensive and well made and my mother looooved this sweater and her disappointment with my, uh, [incredibly rude and ungrateful contempt for it] reaction ensured this story remained one of the Golden Oldies in our family. You know, as in,  'It was like a STRAWBERRY SWEATER...' for any situation in which you were disappointed or disappointed someone else or when you badly misjudged another person's likes. So, it wasn't a total loss. That [horrible] sweater.

- Later in my teen years, a guy who *liked* me bought me a coat. A fucking fox fur coat. I have no desire to flip this into a judgmental, paint flinging, FUR IS MURDER, comment clusterfuck. I don't really care if you like fur, if you wear fur, if you sleep with a fur comforter, if you have fur lined gloves or undies. Whatever you do is your business and I could not be honester when I tell you I don't care. I just, you know, don't wear fur. And although I knew this guy, and he knew me, this gift was nothing short of Crop Circle Sized Sign that we were Never Ever Going To Be BFFs and that omg, he was a little, er, craaazy (not because it was fur but because it cost so fucking much and what the hell, dude?) (He actually DID turn out to be crazy, too, so.)

- He dropped the present off or had it delivered or something, because he wasn't there when I opened it. I was in the living room with my mom, my sister and my friend, I think.  When I moved the paper back and the soft, silky, silver fox fur became visible, my mother sucked her teeth and blew out a low whistle and chuckled. I swear, as she walked back into the kitchen, I heard her murmur under her breath, 'That poor sucker.'

- I never wore that coat but neither could I figure out what to do with it. It sat in my closet for years and years. And years. AND YEARS. When we went to clean out my dad's house (so weird to call it my dad's house. It was my mom's house, too. And mine and my sister's. So, the family house, then.) I found that coat in the closet, along with a GREEN MINI SKIRT. Made of SUEDE. omfg. Whaaat? I put them both into a bag and donated them to The Goodwill.

- I hope the same person buys them both. And rocks them OUT. At a costume party.

 

 

Comments

[Sam]

Huband #2 bought me ugly sweaters one year for Christmas/birthday/something. He was the worst gift-giver ever. I sleep with fur every night. And at nap time. It's soft and warm and cuddly. Also, firmly attached to my cats. They get mad if I try to remove it from their bodies, the ungrateful bastards.

[Are You Kidding Me?]

I don't think a guy has ever bought me clothes. In fact, except for the odd sweater from my sisters, I don't think anyone has bought me clothes that I haven't selected since I was about 12.

My husband has brought me some t-shirts from his travels though, but he always buys them too small. I guess it's nice that he thinks I'm smaller than I am.

[kayla]

Did I mention it was white..

[kayla]

OMG Manson and FUN FACT FRIDAY _ WORD!!!!!

My husband can't buy me clothes.. HE JUST can't.. One year for an anniversary he bought me these pajamas and a cashmere blanket. The pajamas are BEAUTIFUL and so soft. I mean you can put them on and instantly melt into them. I LOVE THEM. They were super expensive and they are amazing.. BUT they are so soft and so delicate (think the softest jersey material you can find) and SO F*CKING SEE THROUGH that you can see the size of my nips. DUDES I AM SERIOUS..I mean you can see it ALL.. I have a beauty mark on my tummy that is not even dark, kind looks like a freckle, AND YOU CAN SEE THAT through the pj's.. Imagine the rest of my body. THere is just no way to wear them without it being inappropriate around children. Even with an undershirt and the blackest underwhere, it falls on your body like such that you can see it all (IF YOU GET MY DRIFT).. IF this was a mans jammies, you would be able to see his frontal package SO well, that you would know if he is 'intact'..

SO those beautiful pajamas ONLY travel with us when we go to a bed and breakfast AND I am feeling extra confident!!!

Maybe on the next fun fact friday I will tell you about my MIL gifts!!!

I LOVED your moms reaction to the "coat" of death...ICK

kayla

[RuthWells]

Amen on the MILs comment. My MIL bought me VERY elegant lingerie for my bridal shower. I have not been able to bring myself to take the tags off it, let along wear it, lo these 20-odd years.

The low point of my mother's attempts to gift me with clothing was in my mid-20s. One Christmas she bought me an outfit that Hubby and I still refer to as the Israeli cheerleader outfit. It was a flared mini-skirt (uh... no.) and matching top in a hideous black and brown print that was semi tribal in vibe.

It got returned to the store post-haste.

[Becky]

HAAA! I love this. I once dated a guy who bought me an outfit that was, I kid you not, FOUR SIZES too small for me. I mean, dude. Flattered you think I'm that little, but really? Have you SEEN me?

[J from Ireland]

Hahaha I missed fun fact friday. I am a little creeped out by a husband/boyfriend buying clothes for a woman too. My husband wouldn't have a clue what size I am let alone know what I'd like and am quite happy with that. On saying all that I or my husband have no problem with me picking out clothing for him!! Double standards much...heeheehee

[Swistle]

I remember my grandmother once bought me a silky v-necked red shirt with BANDED SHORT SLEEVES. On Blanche from Golden Girls: SMOKIN. On a 12-year-old girl: KRAZY, and also GROSS (the v-neck was down to mid ribs, although it would have been much higher on someone with a BOSOMULAR REGION).

Also connected to this topic only vaguely: mothers-in-law should not buy their daughters-in-law clothing. I think that sort of thing contains too many Potential Symbolic Interpretations.

Wow. Fur coat. *whistle of doom*