Technically, It's Not About BlogHer.

Hey there!

Long time no posting. As per what appears to be my new(ish) usual. *sigh* I'm trying to post more but it appears to be only manifesting in my mind.  Much like I'm trying to lose 30 pounds. That's also manifesting in my mind (even though it shows on my ass) and so, there you have it.

Anyway.

I have an urge to complain-slash-explore-slash-panic about going to BlogHer and about all the shit I have to do before going to BlogHer but who really wants to hear all that, am I right?  The way I figure it, is, if you're going, you have the same shit to think about for your own self and if you're not going but want to go, the last thing you probably want to hear is some horse's ass bitching-slash-exploring-slash-panicking about it and if you're not going and you don't want to, then, well, you've probably already clicked out.

So let me just say these things: I have been shopping [for BlogHer] and I got a haircut [for BlogHer] and nothing has quite the pick-me-up effect as realizing that you 1) have to buy Giant Pants and 2) your new haircut is the shape of a bell.  I swear.  It's like newscaster hair. Only less cool.  I'm hoping it doesn't qualify as Midwestern Hair but I think it might be a close scrape.

*sigh*

I don't mind telling you that the week after BlogHer, I am going to my hometown (with my BIL and my dad) to get my dad's shit together to move here.  He settled on a house last week and now, we've got to go and get the stuff he needs to move in.  I am not looking forward to it, really.  A long trip with shit-loads of work involved.  A quick turn-around time. And another four days without my kids.  Which, on this end of it, with the day I've had so far, doesn't sound all that bad. I know enough, though, to know that two trips on two consecutive weeks is going to be hard. Ish. Maybe. Probably.

No, it will.  I know it will.

Speaking of my kids...

I just had the weirdest interaction at the library.  For this summer reading thingie, the kids have to do an activity each week and then bring in this sheet of paper to show the librarian (to collect a toxic-plastic prize).  One of the tasks for kids 2-4 was that they learn and tell a joke. 

It was TLNG's first time learning an ACTUAL joke to tell and we've been practicing that son-of-a-bitch for two weeks (since we missed going last week), so she was excited to go and tell her joke today.

And here was the interaction:

TLNG: 'I have a joke to tell you!'

Librarian: ??

TLNG: 'What kind of alley do I run from?'

[Note: It is supposed to be, 'What kind of alley do you run from?' but that use of the pronoun eludes her. She's 3.]

Librarian: 'What kind?'

TLNG: 'An Alley-GATOR!!'

Librarian: [straight-face. NO laugh. At all.] 'Okaaaay, then.'

WTF?

Seriously, Librarian? SERIOUSLY?  It was her first joke, for fuck's sake and I gotta tell you, she had some damn good comedic timing (for a 3 year old.) I mean, I KNOW it ain't Chris Rock but she's still a little young to be dropping N-words and F-bombs for her summer reading library jokes. 

Who knew there was such a tough crowd at the public library? Fucking A.

A much more receptive audience for her comedic skills. AKA: He laughs at EVERYTHING SHE DOES.

.

.

 

Most of the time.

 
[Edited to add: THE JOKE!]

Comments

[Lawyerish]

I loved meeting you this weekend at BlogHer! You are fantastic -- so funny and pretty and charming, and you have excellent hair.

I have Jonna to thank for introducing me to so many new bloggie friends, including you. I've been seeing you "around" for so long and I'm so glad to have made the connection. Now you're in my feed reader for good!

Meredith

[Linda]

In defense of the librarian, summer reading is really hard at the end. There's a whole lot of thought and planning that goes into the whole program and then executing it for a generally unenthusiastic public is not as much fun as you might think. By the end, you just want the end to come a few days sooner.

I am sorry if your little girl's feelings were hurt. Not a one of us would intentionally do that.

[Caitlin]

That librarian is a miserable cow. Your little girl is precious and I love the joke.

[Mama Bub]

Our children's librarian spends most of the time sighing heavily during storytime whenever one of the children acts like a CHILD. These people need to find a new job.

[shriek house]

Oh THAT librarian needs to be REMOVED from DUTY.

[The Domestic Goddess]

Is this a CHILDREN'S LIBRARIAN? If so, I have a real beef with folks that work in a position where they work with CHILDREN and don't get CHILDREN if you GET ME.

[amanda]

OK, that librarian sucks. The joke was great!

[Kelly @ Student of the Year]

Do I have to smack a librarian today? I'm thinking yes, yes I do.

Wish I could see you at BlogHer. Enjoy it!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

OMG, she is just so cute!!! Love it.

I'm going to try to get my toes done today but, if not, I may have ugly feet in NYC. I think they stone people for that. I think they are more forgiving with hair. ; )

[Marie]

:) I think that's funny -- and you have to laugh at littles telling jokes. My 4 year old thinks the words mustard chicken leg are the funniest things ever -- so he'll say knock knock -- who's there -- mustard chicken leg -- and bust out laughing. And if you can't laugh along...dang...ya take yourself too seriously.

[Amelia Sprout]

Seriously, my husband didn't laugh either. And he has a three year old who sucks at telling jokes!

I personally loved it. Also, I don't think your kids could get any cuter. Can't wait to see you!

[jodifur]

I am just so beyond excited to see you!

[Stimey]

I think it's a great joke and I am going to go use it on my kids RIGHT NOW.

[Swistle]

That joke was probably too complicated for the librarian. Next time go with why-did-the-chicken.

[MFA Mama]

Awww...poor baby :( I totally would have laughed! Some people just hate happiness, sheesh!

[Amanda]

Blinded by the giddy that is knowing I'll see you.

[Julie @ Mommy Said What?]

We've also been going through the knock knock jokes around our house. And I started with the same one as Caramama. EXCEPT, my son seems to think it's the FOOD ITEM and not the pun that makes it funny:

Him: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: Pepperoni!
Me: Pepperoni who?
Him: Pepperoni let us in!

Sigh.

[caramama]

Well, I loved that joke! But I do have the sense of humor of a 3 - 7 year old. How could the librarian not at least pretend to laugh?

We've just been teaching my 3 yo daughter knock knock jokes. Here's the one she usually tries:
Pumpkin: Knock, knock.
(now she actually waits for me to say...)
me: Who's there?
Pumpkin: Lettuce.
me: Lettuce who?
Pumpkin: Let Mommy and daddy and me in!
(It's supposed to be "let us in, it's your mommy and daddy.)