Reader Quiz: Days That Suck

I am having one of Those Days.  By that, specifically, I mean a day wherein (When? In which? During which?) I feel like...I don't know...Inferior.

Like, everyone ELSE I know (or don't know) is smarter, prettier, thinner, nicer, more successful, more creative, more of everything good, with a neater house and better-fitting clothes.

It happens occasionally.  I think I've written about it before, even.  I posted it on twitter and asked for the Cure for such a day.  I got a couple good-slash-witty responses (because those people? Are SMARTER and WITTIER than I am) and that made me want to put the question to you all.

What is the cure for such Internal Mindfucking Jackassery?

I am listening.

ADVISE.

Comments

[anne nahm]

flash someone (who will not report you to the police).

[Debbie, i obsess]

Oh, babe, no. No. Those are the monsteers (deliberate misspelling) in there, trying to steer you to think fawked-up thoughts about you. PLEASE don't go down that road. Please. I think you're doing such an amazing job of being mom to two youngsters and always seeming (see? my perception of *you* is something altogether different from what you see in/about yourself) to be in such a damn fine mood, and witty/urbane/lovely, to boot.

You smack that voice right in the kisser if you catch it trying to sway you to think bad things about what you're doing, because I SAY you're kicking FAWKING ASS. Got it?

Love. Love love love love and more love. Awesome lady.

D

[Meg]

If all else fails, swimming always jars me out of this feeling. Being immersed in water in such a strange experience that it often changes my whole perspective.
Also, using up some chits and making a friend spend about an hour telling you how awesome you are and that everything will be OK is pretty effective too.
Your blog is great!

[Jayme]

Drink some wine (or your choice of alcoholic beverage). It always make me feel better!

[S.]

Longtime reader, first time poster. I try to tell myself: ok, I get one day to wallow and self-indulge (caution, though, as if you do this too much it can become destructive). So on those days, I throw in my favorite trashy movie (often crying out the feeling helps me get over it, so this trashy movie is generally one that'll make me cry--is that weird? Probably...), get take out, and veg, leaving any heavy lifting to my partner. (And I reciprocate this for him on his miserable days.) I agree too with other people's comments--if part of my bad day is feeling like I never accomplish *anything*, I set myself smaller tasks that can actually be finished in a relatively small amount of time, such as cleaning the bathroom or baking (as someone else suggested). Accomplishing one thing starts the ball rolling in a different direction for me. (Not that this works all the time, but it helps most of the time.) Also, getting on the phone and whining to my friends (who are lovely and supportive and will reassure me that I'm not a failure as a person) helps a great deal. (Also reciprocated when they have awful days.)

Really love the blog, and have recommended it to several friends who are struggling with new motherhood.

[Forgotten]

Get in your car. Put in your favorite happy-making CD. Crank up the volume as loud as you like it. Sing at the top of your lungs. Drive to your favorite place to get coffee/a slushie/a milkshake, etc. Then drive around somewhere that you can get up some speed. Bang on your steering wheel and sing and smile and have some fun even if it only lasts 30 minutes. Enjoy yourself and everything will look a little better when you get back! Works for me every time.

[CuriousParty]

I went for a jog (inspired by you, btw, Couch to 5K woman), while listening to Metallica, then had a glass of wine on my last I-can't-take-it-anymore day. That would be yesterday.

[The Domestic Goddess]

Let's see...cute puppies, hugs from children, oral sex from husband, glass of wine, chick flick, hot bath. Not necessarily in that order. But maybe glass of wine before hot bath, then oral sex from husband and THEN the chick flick (I suggest a Jane Austen film, naturally) to top it off.

Just sayin'.

Emphasis on oral sex.

[Manic Mommy]

I'm feeling incapable today. Of writing a letter of reference, of dealing with my children, cooking, driving, cleaning, forming intelligent sentences...you name it. I'm going to go read your comments now and see if I can glean anything.

Yours in inferiority,

Christine

[a]

Well, there are two schools of thought on this. Admit that bad days are necessary to balance out great days, and just go with the low feeling until it passes.

If that's not possible, then go with the second school of thought - get some help. Now, reasonable people seek therapy or anti-depressants. I, instead, watch Judge Judy, or videos of people's antics on YouTube, or anything on MTV, and immediately feel like I'm not doing so bad.

Good luck. We all feel a little inferior some days.

[Alexis M.]

Go to Jersey.

Do other things that makes you happy - but don't stay in or else you'll feel worse.

[Marie Green]

I'm not sure if I ever handle these things effectively. Nor do I have any hard-and-fast system that works every time. I do know that I am currently coming out of a Dark Time, and it feels wonderful. I think fresh air, exercise, being with friends, getting out of the house, absorbing myself in a project that takes creative energy (for me, taking photos), rearranging furniture, "redecorating"- even just printing some more current photos to replace those currently framed, decluttering/throwing stuff away (this one is HUGE for me), crossing off some long-time pain-in-the-ass thing from my to-do list, getting a haircut...

These are things that work for me, though different ones work at different times. Sometimes, when I'm in a funk, NOTHING gets me out. Except time. And then I start having energy for some of the things I listed, and then I start doing them, and THEN I realize how helpful those things are...

[caramama]

When I am having one of Those Days, I turn to chocolate and as much sleep as I can get. That may mean going to bed for the night at 7:00, after eating half a bag of Dove milk chocolate pieces. Mmmmm.

[Kader]

I am greedily reading everyone's comments here, as I'm having one of those days/weeks/months, too. I just feel so behind. Not in things, necessarily (though there's that, too), but in terms of getting back on my feet post-pregnancy. I feel like I should be feeling more like my old self by now, but I don't. I just feel...behind.
So, if commiseration helps, than I hope that did. (I am aware that my baby is growing and developing well--learning a lot and smiling and laughing. He's mostly a really happy boy, so I must be doing something right. Oh, and I KNOW that I'm good at lots of things. But sometimes I forget.)
In other words--you're totally normal! Hope you're feeling better soon...

[Fiona Picklebottom]

Prozac. :)

[jive turkey]

Well, when I can't pep talk my way out of a shitty mood, raising endorphins always works for me. I can only get that to happen via exercise or sex. So, you know, knock yourself out.

If that doesn't work, sometimes I go back and look at old photos. Helps me remember all that I've done and how lucky I've been.

[She Likes Purple]

The cure? Going to sleep and waking up in a new day. Seriously, I'm not the one to ask because once a day is ruined, it really is ruined for me. It's hard for me to get back on track or even attempt to salvage it. I just drink and whine until it's over.

I'm such a bad adult.

But, commiseration sometimes helps, too. So, every day of last week was like this for me. And....I'm just clinging to the fact that good moods and good days come round again, eventually.

[Erica]

I used to have more of those days than not and my very favorite therapist had me start addressing the mindfucking directly. I wrote down the crazy-assed thoughts that went through my head and then wrote a reply to it. For example: "Everyone else's 3 year old is potty trained and mine isn't. I'm a terrible mother and she's mentally delayed!" (Ahem. This is, of course, just an example and NOT the thought on continuous repeat in my head.) Anyhow, then I would write something back to the thought like, "That's ridiculous! You know that every child potty trains in their own time and rushing it and/or making a big deal out of with will only backfire. You're not a terrible mother and Maddie is scarily smart."

It was a pain in my ass to stop and write these things down, but it let me see how often I was mindfucking myself. And soon I was able to do it all in my head.

Maybe you should try it today. Let me help: "NG, everyone is NOT better than you are in EVERY way. Sure there are people that are better at somethings, but you're great, too! You are so good at writing! You're funny, and intelligent and you make the best red sauce of anyone I know."

[Shelly]

Oh, I have those Days, too! I hate that feeling, it just leaves me grumpy and dissatisfied with my life. I find it helps to review all the positive things that I do have (ie good marriage, healthy happy kids, stable job that pays pretty well even if I don't always love it, my health, etc.)

[Swistle]

Oh, ack, I know this mood. I find it helps to get some absorbing books or movies. I also find it helpful to (*gag*) Do Something Nice For Someone Else---in my case, I usually bake because I also find it soothing to bake. Both things distract me and turn my focus outward.