Oh, Here We Go.

You KNEW it was going to happen to me, didn't you? All you Super-DJs, Who Think You're Fly. You knew that one day, probably sooner rather than later, I would be where I am today.

Today.

This morning, in my kitchen, trying to open my new Bonne Maman Preserves to NO AVAIL, muttering to myself, under my breath, struggling with the [mockingly] cheery gingham-printed lid while pondering my advancing age and worrying about possible early-onset arthritis which will disallow opening of jars when I'm home alone, or, you know, WIDOWED or whatever.

When clear as a bell, from the living room, my toddler asks, "Mommy, why you say fawk?"

Oh, man.

You know what this means, right?

You know.

It means I'm totally fawked.

Comments

[Overfed Annie]

I just found you! Thanks for the early morning laughs! (it's not early morning now, but it was when I found you)

My (3 year old) daughter recently looked around at the chaos in our kitchen, threw her hands up in exasperation, and cried, "Mama what the FUCK?!"

[The Domestic Goddess]

That's like the night my NON VERBAL child chimed in from the other room with "SHIT!" for two hours, right after I dropped a whole chicken and the dogs made off with it.

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

Word up.

[Greeting Card Printing]

This made me giggle. I've been self imposing a $5 fine every time I catch myself swearing. It's helped me tone it down, but sometimes the forbidden words still pop out.

[Amelia Sprout]

I can't even get in to the list of words that start with F that I have "said" since she was born. I'm getting more creative, which is great for home, but now I'm being laughed at by my male coworkers for being 80.

[patois]

One hundred and ten percent fawked.

[parkingathome]

awesome. My mom said "oh mylanta!" (mormon) sometimes that one pops out of MY mouth

[Suzy Voices]

Oops! Tell her you said "hawk", because you just saw a pretty hawk out the window!

[jive turkey]

Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[ClumberKim]

When my niece was 3 her mother, my sister, asked her to do something. Niece replied, "Just a damn minute." I give her props for swearing in context. Now the same niece as three boys, 6 and under. What goes around, comes around.

[donna]

I was fully shamed when my child once tripped over something and said "Goddamn!" The best thing I could say was that she used it correctly.

[MidLifeMama]

Oh I completely own the fact that my child will be teaching the other children in his day care to swear. At least they will learn the appropriate usage and context as well.

[Manic Mommy]

Best advice I ever received: Follow up slips with rhyming words. Duck, luck, cluck, muck...TLNG will totally lose focus.

Wait 'til she starts spelling, then you'll really be fawked.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Oh lordy.

Drew still says "damnit" every now and then, at the completely appropriate times.

I'm just waiting for him to watch the f-bomb, but hoping it's in the car so I can blame my husband - which is where he uses it.

[inannasstar]

I am a BIG ASS POTTY MOUTH and that was just not something I could give up after having my son. Soooooo, when he first let it rip and said "shit" we went through the list of words that are adult words that he can say when he's 18. His response? "yay, now I have something to look forward to".

[Forgotten]

Uh oh. I am still fighting the "dammit" that my little boy picked up when I stubbed my toe 6 months ago. The bad part is...he uses it in the right context. It's everything I can do to keep from laughing when I have to tell him he's not allowed to say that and that mommy said it by accident because she wasn't using her nice words. *snort*

Explaining "adult" words to little kids in an effort to get them not to say them is wasted breath because as soon as you jump on them for saying it, it's burned into their brains that they got a reaction from it. Then you are totally "fawked".

[Kader]

Oh, man. I do not envy you. She is going to be ALL OVER THAT for, like, ever.