My Compliments.

Over the years, like anyone else (I imagine), I've received compliments on a variety of my physical and non-physical attributes.  It occurred to me the other day that, very often, the same attributes are complimented over and over.  And, even though I have a varying degree of agreement/disagreement with the 'goodness' of each of the  attributes in question, the consistency of the positive perceptions of others regarding the same, over time, has remained, well, consistent.

And perhaps I'm thinking of these things because recent events have made me feel [like a walking billboard of FAIL] a little less than competent and I'm all about the Reverse Psychology these days.  Also, I am always interested in the difference between our self-perceptions and the perceptions of others (when I get more than 2 hours of sleep per night and I have more than, say, 35 synapses firing at any one given time, that is.)

I'm sharing my list with you, in the hopes that you will review your own lists and maybe share them, here, with me.  I'm interested.

Anyway.

Here is the list of attributes for which I am consistently complimented:

My Hair.
The 90's were good to me in the Perception of My Hair Department. The 80's being the years of Big Hair, I used to beat my [straight as a motherfucking PIN] smooth, straight hair into submission with The Perms. I used to get compliments even then but with the entrance of the *Rachel Hairstyle* (my hair's natural inclination) people began to compliment in earnest.

My Skin.
People comment on the smoothness and softness of my skin. Since I have very little to compare, I just have to take their words for it.  It's something that I've heard my whole entire life.

My Voice.
I've often commented here about my Intense Dislike of my own voice.  It is, though, very distinctive, I suppose and I imagine that people either like it or don't like it and who is really going to say, 'BTW, I HATE your voice!'?

My Hands.
For Looks, Softness and Nails (when I have them.) I've had a hate/love relationship with my hands.  When I was a kid, I didn't like my hands at all and then, over the years for whatever reason, I've grown to like the way they look.

My, er, Rack.
It may be the case that every woman garners attention/compliments for this part. I have no way of knowing. But I have received interest in The Area from not only straight men but also? Gay men AND straight women.  I've often said that my boobs have 'Bi-Directional Appeal.'  We'll have to see how [they hold up] it goes after the attention of the youngest two 'interested parties' has [weaned] waned.

My Sense of Humor.
This may be one of my most-often complimented personality trait. You are privy to most of it here. The Cursing, The Irreverence.  I am also somewhat loud and a little bawdy and a LOT politically incorrect and certainly prone to laugh at the darkest of situations.  I censor some of that here, just because it doesn't translate well into the written word.

My Smarts.
I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a super-smart person but I am a quick study with a good memory.  (A good memory and a way with language can make a person look very smart in a certain set of circumstances.)

My Way With Words.
I have received compliments on my writing and my ability to articulate myself (professionally and personally.)  I mostly agree with this but feel like my skill in this area is in need of some SERIOUS brushing up.  I'm way rusty.

My Calmness in a Crisis.
That's pretty self-explanatory but it's true.  If you suck in a crisis and there is some Big Shit going down wherever you are, you would want me there, too.  For whatever reason, everything falls away and I can remain supah-calm and focused on What To Do Next.  After the situation is over, though, I lose my shit for real, just like a regular human.

That's all I can think of for now.

Comments

[Jeff from Newark, NJ]

Keila, I know you are hotter than that!

[Lawyerish]

I thought this was so fun, I decided to copy it on my own site! (Am rather unoriginal.)

I find it fascinating that people compliment you on your rack. Like, how does that come up in conversation? (Still, it's a pretty good thing to be complimented on. Who doesn't want to feel good about their boobs?)

[Lippy]

How fun!
I have always gotten compliments on my ass. I once had a boy (I was 17) say he ran across the fairgrounds to get a closer look at my ass. Strange. Also I get complimented on my eyes, they change from blue to green depending on what I am wearing. For non-physical stuff, I get complimented on my cooking and basic Martha Stewartishness. Lots of people tell me I am smart,and funny. Damn, I must be awesome. Great post.

[attiton]

I frighten people off with my personality, I guess.

[nil zed]

Non-physical: People are always telling me I write entertainingly. In the days before blogs, I was told I should write books. Now I'm told I should blog. I lack the discipline.

[nil zed]

hmmm, I used to get the hair compliments all the time. So thick, so shiny, so long! When it began greying early, I was frantic not to lose one of my good features. Now I've been coloring it over half my life. I still get compliments, but, you know, considering what I spend...

I'm also told I look 'too young' to be a mother of a (whatever age my oldest happens to be). This may be related to the hair coloring thing.

I have been complimented for smiling so much. Not my smile per se, but that I do.

Per classmates dot com: evidently I am most remembered for being soft spoken / having a gentle voice. I always think it sounds harsh when I hear a recording, evidently I am wrong.

A boyfriend once told me there are girls you like to see walking TOWARD you (b/c of their rack) and girls you like to see walking away, or in front of you (b/c of their backside). He told me I was a backside to watch. Others were also complimentary, including strangers on the street. Creepy. But flattering. But creepy. However, there must be too much of a good thing these days as I don't hear about it these days.

Finally, the button nose is cute. I guess so. I'm over feeling it looks childish. Perhaps it adds to the looking too young to be a parent thing.

[Caitlin]

I just found you through Swistle - such a fun post!

Physically, I get complimented fairly regularly on my naturally crazy-curly hair. It is probably my most distinguishing feature (it's kind of hard to miss). I usually reply thanks, and then tell people it just does what it wants. Or say "Thanks! I grew it myself!". Also, my height. I'm not freakishly tall, but people seem to notice. Also the boobs and the blue/gray eyes.

Other stuff: always wearing fun jewelry, a way with words, being funny, being crafty, being able to see things from both sides, and -wait for it - speaking great Spanish, despite my Irish American roots!

[Keila Pernia]

I will post this because this shit to this day KILLS ME..

I was on my way to work and in the elevator. I was in there with one of the lawyers from one of the other offices. He turns to me and says "You know who you look like" and I thought okay here we go with the Drew Barrymore bullshit " you look like Tina Fey". So I think - wow she is cute and smart and so I say "Oh wow that is great thank you very much.. WHEN he says ARE YOU READY FOR THIS "No that is not great. I didn't mean it as a compliment"!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I die because ladies THIS IS MY LIFE!

[jive turkey]

Once, a male coworker really inappropriately complimented my ass, and I am ashamed to say that - although I appeared to be outwardly appalled - I was TOTALLY FLATTERED. I am why you have to have those sexual harassment seminars at work. Sorry, friends.

Oh, and later on, the same male coworker complimented me on the fact that I didn't cheat on my husband. Uh...thanks? That was a really weird place to work.

[Secret Mom Thoughts]

Oh and non physical compliments tend to be politeness and ability to see both sides of situations.

[Secret Mom Thoughts]

I get complimented on my eyes, rack, skin, and calves. Fun post.

[Tessie]

Fun post!

Physically, mostly my eyes, especially since I had The Lasah and you can actually SEE them. Also, I have pretty muscular arms, for someone who doesn't (YET) lift weights.

Otherwise, I'm told that I am charismatic or articulate "for an accountant" with freakish regularity. But, I think this has more to do with the fact that I have an a-typical personality, for a CPA.

[Shelly]

Ever since I can remember, I have gotten complimented on my eyes. I mean, I understand it, but it isn't like I had anything to do with them. It isn't like I chose them purposefully and they're the only ones I've got.

Now I hear quite often how much daughter looks like me, usually in a "She is so cute and she looks just like you!" way. I never know what to say to that. I mean, she is my daughter and I made her, but I didn't get to choose her looks either. Or are you saying I am on the developmental level of a 3 year old? I know people are being nice but saying "thanks" feels like I'm taking credit for it when it wasn't exactly my doing.

[Sahara]

People tend to compliment me on my smile, which means I think that they actually like it that I get all squinchy-faced. It's a nice compliment but they don't have 30+ years of photos of that spazzy girl with no eyes.

My eyes also get remarks (people usually say they're "neat," so it's not like a OMIGOD THAT'S GORGEOUS kind of straightforward compliment) because they are different colors. I injured one of them when I was little and so have a bit of a David Bowie different color/different pupil size thing going on. My eyes are also one of the things I am MOST self-conscious about, because they are asymmetrical, so I think they affect the rest of my face. I've learned to take the "remarks" positively, but it's hard sometimes.

I *wish* I could get compliments on my boobs. I don't think they are freakishly teensy or anything, but I'll throw this out as a reference point: I am a nursing mom, am small generally (short), and have a very hard time finding nursing bras that come in my size. Yes, even the smallest sizes tend to be too big unless they are the lightly padded "t-shirt" kind. Depressing.

People also tend to think I'm smart, which is awesome because for my formative years (through high school) I hung around with frickin' geniuses (MIT Math types) and was always the dumbest one in the group. Turns out they are just socially inept for making me feel stupid.

LONG COMMENT OVER! Great post--I'll be thinking about it all day!

[Miss Grace]

I was inspired to post my own on my blog - http://www.missdisgrace.com/2010/01/my-compliments.html

[-R-]

I have been most complimented on being down to earth, being smart, being a good listener, and being non-judgmental.

This was nice to think about!

[JustLinda]

Good post... I've said before, I love a good compliment, it's like compensation to my ego.

I get complimented most on my smile and laugh. I'm told I have smiling eyes and a hearty laugh. I get complimented on being funny. I've been complimented on my vocabulary and told that I have a way with words.

I seem to get complimented on my hair mostly when I straighten it. I smile and say "thank you" but I can't help reading between the lines and thinking "they all HATE my real hair..." hahah (See why I need the compliments??? To counter-act the crazy! LOL)

[Stacey]

I love this post. I've been reading for awhile, this is my first comment!

My hands & feet. I have very long fingers and long nail beds so even when my nails are short, they look long. My toes are all a perfect length and that second toe is not longer than the big toe, this is what people say when they compliment them.

I have a slight lisp, very slight, think Gwyneth Paltrow or Meredith from Grey's. I hate it but other people like it and/or rarely notice it but I get compliments from people that they love to hear me talk. WTF? Anyway. I'm taking a Speaking class for college this semester (yeah, I'm 33) and I'm nervous as hell to speak in front of the class, now I've held some pretty significant management jobs in my life and had to speak plenty in front of people and it never bothered me but for some reason I really care about it for this class.

My ability to put myself in other people's shoes. I actually like this one too.

My nose. I hate it, but other people love it. I don't get it either.

Okay, I'm done writing a novel on my first comment. :)

[Swistle]

Oh, and math and baking!

[Swistle]

Oh, what a good topic! Physically, I get praised for my skin and my smile and, oddly, my HIPS, but never Teh Rack.

Non-physically, I get praised for politeness, writing, and cheerfulness (which is amusing to me considering how moody I am). Oh, and for being kind and respectful to old people.