Oh, this was fun (again!) and gave me what to think of. I did, though, have a sudden self-consciousness, where I was thinking that it was kind of um, WEIRD to tell you to ask me questions. About myself. I guess it probably IS. I have lots of questions for you, though, and so...well. Whatever. I don't know where I'm going with any of this.
Ahem.
Anyway.
Beth from SJ has two questions:
1. Am I from Philly (because I seem to be a fan of Philly sports on Twitter)?
First of all, BBAAAA HAHAHAHA!! Oh, Beth, you crazy kid. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a FAN of ANY sport or team. Let's just that the HOUSE RULES here dictate allegiance to the Philadelphia teams. *coughTheManIsCrazyFanaticalcough* But, I currently reside in the Greater Philadelphia Area. I still consider myself to be FROM NW Pennsylvania, though. Also, I hope to HOPING that my kids are into fine arts, black lipstick, punk rock music or, say, poetry jams when they get older. You know, something that I can RELATE to.
2. Why am I so hard on myself?
I am thinking about this question a lot. I don't perceive myself as too hard on me. (Could that sentence be any MORE awkward?) I have very little use for actual frank Guilt or Regret* and so, if I act out and have a temper tantrum, I apologize and DO let it go. I don't ruminate about the stuff that you read here. I think that the viewfinder through which you're looking (the collective You, I'm saying) is limited. You read what I write and what I write at those times is often [fueled by hormones] in the heat of the moment and part of my processing. I try to be honest about my internal experiences and dialog and while I don't think of writing/blogging as therapy, it is an exercise in connection and universality as well as self-evaluation. Even though I don't think of it as therapy, I often feel much better when I've finished writing.
*I distinguish genuine Remorse from Guilt/Regret. I do feel remorseful after losing my shit with my kid. Just like I would if lost my shit with anyone else who is important to me.
Clink, who used to have a link and who is now using this blog as birth control, wants to know:
1. What is my favorite meal ever?
If we're going for my favorite meal in the current, it would be a well-made pasta. If we're going for an historical perspective, it would be this meal I had in a tiny, little restaurant in Italy, Florence, I think? It was the most simple but freshest and best Caprese salad and cheese ravioli in a pink cream sauce and I would KNOCK YOUR ASS OVER to have that again. omfg.
2. If I could relive just one day which one would it be?
I was unclear whether this meant, like, re-experience or re-do. Get ready for Barfy, though, because I might like to re-experience my wedding day. I KNOW. It was a perfect day. Perfect, really, and I loved it. Not only did I get to marry my for-real closest friend, (BARFY!) it was also great to be surrounded by that many loved ones and well-wishers. Some of whom traveled for MANY miles to be there.
Forgotten from Fairytale Forgotten wants to know (I can barely contain the hysterical laughter that is welling up inside me) if I have decided that that I am done having children or if I think I may go for a third?
Oh, Forgotten. I know that I owe everyone a birth story but let's just say, that I was DONE having children before this last one was even OUT. I'm so done. So, SO done. As done-done-done as done can be.
Kader (A Fellow AMA-Mom) wants to know:
Which things about parenting do I think are harder/easier given that I'm not under the age of 25? This is such a good question and things I think about all the time. I could write posts on these topics, if I still wrote posts. Heh.
Let's start with harder: I don't know. My aching back and my creaking (literally CREAKING) knees, maybe. I don't know that I wouldn't have those things if I were younger, as both pregnancies knocked me squarely out of shape from sickness, etc. Perhaps, needing READING GLASSES to see my son's NURSING FACE, too. OMFG. The thought of being 80 before my kids graduate from medical school.
Easier: Life experience and perspective make a ton of difference in my attitudes about most things, child rearing included. I don't believe that I was prepared to make the sacrifices that I am making now, back then. I think I would have been restless and maybe resentful. I feel like I did everything I wanted to do before I had kids (degree, travel, jobs, etc.) before I had them and now, I feel like this is a completely new phase. A second wind, like. I am comfortable and settled-in to this life-style for now. The Man and I were married for EIGHT years before TLNG was born. He calls it our 8 year DATE.
Also, is there any snack that seems to help with the lack of sleep? This is a catch-22 for me, Kader. I eat lots of chocolate and things that on the front end seem to help but are OH, SO WRONG on the back-end, if you know what I'm saying. And I think you DO.
Sarahviz from In the Trenches of Mommyhood wants to know:
1. How is TLNG doing as a Big Sis?
She was great for a while and then a CHILD-SIZED DEMON FROM HELL and then okay for a while and now, I hope, ADJUSTED MOSTLY. She's very tender and sweet with the baby. Until she tries to claw his face off because he's in the sling yet again. KIDDING. Mostly.
2. If someone handed me a $100 bill and told me I had to spend it right away, what would you buy FOR MYSELF?
If someone handed me a $100 bill and told me I had to spend it right away, I'd smack them. Kidding. I'd probably go and try to get some pants that fit and it wouldn't be good and so I'd get depressed and since I was in the mall anyway, I'd probably go and buy some ice cream. Or $95 worth of books and a latte.
-R- from And You Know What Else, which needs a new tagline, wants to know, have I ever written about how I met The Man?
I think I did, maybe on a Fun Fact Friday post. But the short story is that I was dating The Tool (forEVER) and The Man was dating an electrician. (I'm SO not kidding.) And we met on a psychiatric unit. Where we both WORKED, I should add. I liked him immediately (and he, me) but since we were dating others, we became friends. (Bonus Fun Barfy Fact! After meeting me, he went home and told his mom and his sister that he'd just met the woman that he was going to marry. HA HA!) And so it was. About a year later, we were both free agents and I asked him out on a date. TFS.
And Laura and Stephanie and Keila all want another Manson story. Which cracks me up, because how long have you guys been READING, anyway? I feel like those stories were FOREVER ago. (Maybe because without sleep, I am living life in DOG YEARS over here.) I'll comb through the banks and see if I can rustle one up for you.
Did I ever tell you about the time he turned his downstairs into a dog kennel? As in, for like, BREEDING DOGS?
Okay. Here are my questions for you, if you are so inclined--pick one and answer it, because it's not all about ME. I am also INTERESTED IN OTHERS.
* Where did you honeymoon?
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most?
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be?
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period?
* What was your very first job?
* What personality trait to value most in others?
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination?
* What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?)
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.?
You're right...I am linkless. Funny.
I did mean re-experience so I'm happy that you picked up on my brain waves on that one. While the wedding re-live is barfy its good barfy...and a good answer! Too many people take their relationships for granted, I'm glad you don't!
The food question was inspired by the lunch I was having at the time. My ultimate fav...veggie dumplings.
And since I am already babbling...first job; bus girl at an Pizza place. bad bad bad idea.
Posted by: Clink | January 08, 2010 at 01:45 PM
Hello! It's Stephanie P : ) And FIRST, I must tell you that MANSON is the whole reason I found you--it was the CRAZAY MOFO NEIGHBOR OFF. Then I had to go back and read all sorts of other stuff and well, you usually make me giggle out loud so I love you. And when you're gone, I miss you! I want you to move to Austin! Just kidding. NOBODYELSE should move here unless you are my mom or my dad. It's too awesome here and everyone's figuring it out. So, yes, Manson is the MAN. Bring him back : )
*Where did you honeymoon?
We got married on Maui & then stayed for our honeymoon.
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most?
My car. But it's a lease so I'll only have it for 11 more months. Too speedy & small for the tater tot. IT's AWESOME when I'm in it alone. Which is never.
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be?
HANDS DOWN-communicating with animals! I could tell all the snakes I'm coming(so go away), spiders-get out of my house. Scorpions! Beat it or I'll poison your funky a_ _. Bunnnies, come to momma! Froggies, can I rub your belly? Misa (my dog) STAY OFF MY BED! You have an awesome bed! Ok, you get the picture...
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period?
Not a chance in hell I would go forward. Backwards for sure... 50, 100, 150, 200 years...just far enough to meet & see all my relatives.
* What was your very first job?
Gymnastics coach (in HS)
* What personality trait to value most in others?
I have three-honesty, humor, and tenderness
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination?
I've never been to Europe--but I'm going to Rome in 2 months! Maybe I'll track down those relatives I mentioned earlier.
* What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?)
I don't know if it surprised me, but rather I was RELIEVED that I had this much love for that little fool! It's amazing.
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.?
My husband is awesome, we make a great team. BUT if I could enhance his awesomeness, I'd make him a teeny bit sillier. But he IS funny. Just not super silly.
Posted by: Stephanie P | January 07, 2010 at 04:33 PM
Where did you honeymoon? MAUI!
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most? THE $9.99 DOORDRAFTER ON THE INFOMMERCIAL - IT SUCKS!
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be? Invisablity a la Harry Potter's invisability cloak.
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period? Backward. The future scares me.
* What was your very first job? Student secretary at my HS. I was in 12th grade and it was great - I was able to look at everyone's records and get my friends out of class because my job time included the last 2 periods of school.
* What personality trait to value most in others? Kindness
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination? Maui. It's not only beautiful, but magical.
* What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?) The selflessness. I am a foodaholic - the fact that I will give my children my last bite or share my favorite food is a huge deal!
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.? Unlaziness. Is that a word? Bottom line - he's awesome, but spends way to much time on the couch and procrastinating.
Posted by: Beth from SJ | January 07, 2010 at 11:38 AM
Oh, dear, I was all set to talk about YOU, but then you asked me about ME and now that's all I can think of. We honeymooned in Seattle. My first non-babysitting job was cashier girl at a restaurant. What surprised me about being a parent was my seemingly limitless capacity for wanting MORE MORE MORE children EVEN AS I was fed up with the ones I had.
Posted by: Swistle | January 06, 2010 at 05:40 PM
* Where did you honeymoon? Australia...a month ago today...it was glorious summer there!
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most? my current car is just a pain in the ass
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be? human lie-detector!
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period? BACK in time to the turn of the 20th century would be fun
* What was your very first job? seafood store...who knew that exposure to too much raw shrimp can make your skin break down?
* What personality trait to value most in others? honesty, just can't get enough of it!
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination? well my favorite trip ever was driving cross country with my boy
* What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?) I fear that I will automatically reprimand for stupid reasons like my father did
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.? neatness!
Posted by: Laura | January 06, 2010 at 05:20 PM
First job: The sandwich shop of my local pool. Circa 1984. Paid way less than min wage b/c the owners claimed that we could earn tips. We served the food through a little screen that slid up and down. To kids in bathing suits. Tips? Hahahaha. ANYWAY...there was a small hole in the ceiling, about 4" square. We started throwing things into it as target practice. We realized that nothing ever came back down. So we started throwing things like whole tomatoes and frozen popsicles up. They never came back. Nothing ever dripped down. I used to hope the whole thing would collapse one night and teach our cheapass bosses a thing or two. Never happened. A mystery!
Re: being of AMA: I agree! My knees creak at night as I head back downstairs after feeding the little guy. How long has that been going on?? But despite the tough days, I'm aware of how much we wanted this child--and I don't think I was ready before and would have been resentful of what I had to sacrifice, as you said. Now I realize that what we've given up is so small compared to what we've gained. Although a little more sleep would be nice...
Thanks for asking questions of your viewers--a nice touch.
Posted by: Kader | January 06, 2010 at 04:17 PM
*Where did you honeymoon? 2 weeks in Hawaii - it was fabulous
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most? my current house - I hate the house, I hate our neighbors, I hate the neighborhood, I hate the city - but we were living in my in-laws garage at the time and I needed to GET.OUT.
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be? I have no idea
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period? I'd go back...I've always thought I should have lived during the 1950's
* What was your very first job? other than babysitting? I worked in the school cafeteria during high school
* What personality trait to value most in others? honesty/loyalty
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination? My favorite place I've been so far is Taormina, Sicily. I still need to go to St. Petersburg, Russia before I die.
*What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?) How much I love it. I was always ambivalent about having my own children. And then I had one.
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.? to be more open-minded. It's very hard to change his opinion of something and often, his opinion is very narrow.
Posted by: Lora | January 06, 2010 at 04:03 PM
Where did you honeymoon? - Costa Rica, it was amazing!
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most? - I regret that my husband bought the house we are currently in before he met me. Does that count? No. Ok. I regret purchasing an apartment building.
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be? - To loose weight easily.
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period? - I would go forward, but hopefully not too far. I just want to see myself with kids and happily adjusted.
* What was your very first job? - Summer camp counselor
* What personality trait to value most in others? - honesty.
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination? - Skiing, romantic cabin, private hot tub...definite fantasy
* What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?) How difficult it is to become a parent is what is surprising....
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.? I wish my husband was more of a "go-getter" rather than a sit back and wait for it to happen kind of guy...
Posted by: Me | January 06, 2010 at 03:02 PM
I'll answer the questions in a minute. I have to say reading your response to my question about being hard on yourself was very enlightening...makes complete sense - this is basically your sounding board, your other hubby, another bff, sister, etc. Where you can vent and get things out. I love your blog - but you're right I do (did) have a different perception of you. Kind of like when you're little and you see your teacher out shopping wearing jeans it's like, "OMG you shop? You wear something other than dresses?" Does that make sense? Anyway, I get it now and I thank you for the response!!! And as for the Philly fan in your home I have complete empathy, believe me, I'm SURROUNDED!!!
Posted by: Beth from SJ | January 06, 2010 at 01:49 PM
Dude. Who would have thought that good old Manson would have gotten so much play.
He'd be so happy. Or something like that.
Here's my question: When am I going to get to seeeeee you?
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | January 06, 2010 at 01:08 PM
Hmmm, what surprised me about being a parent? I think the thing that surprises me most is how natural it's coming so far. I mean, I question myself a lot because I am an over-analyzer and a crazy researcher, but overall, it seems so...second nature. I think it's especially surprising because my pregnancy felt very unnatural, and I hated pretty much every minute of it.
Posted by: Ginger | January 06, 2010 at 12:55 PM
Man Can I go back to yesterday and ask you a quesion.. Okay NOT because I am some freak stalker but it has been killing me since like forever.. I would love to know where did you grow up.. Here is why it has been killing me forever.. NOT because I think I know you because surely I don't. But because A LONG time ago you mentioned that when you were growing up, it was so cold, that your mom would make you guys put on wonderbread covers before your socks to keep your feet warm. I am thinking you grew up in teh North Pole but something tells me that is not right.. you can email me privately if you don't want to like say it out loud. emismom97@yahoo.com
I grew up my entire life in NJ and we had some cold winters but wonderbread covers that is just AMAZING.. SO amazing I still wonder about it.
Posted by: Keila Pernia | January 06, 2010 at 12:36 PM
Okay retry...
Where did you honeymoon?
We actually eloped. We had money for either a great honeymoon or a great wedding. SO we were selfish and eloped at Acadia National Park in Maine and then honeymooned for two weeks at Bar Harbor Maine.
* What purchase(s) do you regret the most?
My house. I should have stuck to my guns and insisted on the Condo. Two mothereffin floors is alot to clean man!
* If you could choose any super-power, what would it be?
I am still stumped:) BUT I guess it would still be to be superfast like SPEEDING fast. Like I can clean, cook, and do all my "adult" shizz in like an hour. THen I can spend the rest of the time chillend with my boy.
* If you could travel in time, would you go forward or backward? To what time period?
I would go backwards. Back to when I was 18. Tell my mom exactly what was going on with her husband and instead of leaving the house and getting married ( I didn't want to shame my family and just moving in with my boyfriend) being honest with my grandparents about what what happening with said stepfather and moving in with them.
* What was your very first job?
Wendy's - for noneastcoasters this is a fast food chain
* What personality trait to value most in others?
People that are always jolly are just awesome.
* What was your favorite (or your fantasy) travel destination?
I would LOVE to go on an Alasken Cruise - I know talk about dreaming big.
* What surprised you about being a parent? (If you're not a parent, what is your biggest fear about becoming one?)
Oh Man how you can love this little being so much that your heart almost explodes. Overwhelming
* What personality trait do you wish that you could *give* to your spouse, SigOth, partner, friend, roommate ETC.?
To be a MAN and have his balls drop! Seriously. The other night the little man is asleep and I am in bed reading Dan BRown. I am getting to a very great part and my husband comes in all giddy with something, tucks himself in, nuzzles into the blankets, and turns on channel whatever (meaning he had a purpose he was not channel surfing) and starts to watch "He is just not that into you" WTF YO!!! Seriously! WHY!?!?!?!?! I know some of you would kill for this, but I would kill for a man that loves blood and guts.
Posted by: Keila Pernia | January 06, 2010 at 12:32 PM
where did my long response go.. Of course leave it to me to answer EVERY question and then I don't press send or something
Posted by: Keila Pernia | January 06, 2010 at 12:22 PM
I think the thing that surprised me most about becoming a parent was how much I love my son. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I hadn't exactly planned on becoming a parent so early (I was barely 22 when I had him) and I was kind of resentful and angry during my whole pregnancy. I was sick, my husband was pissed at me for keeping a baby he didn't feel ready for, and I've never been a baby person. I don't really like kids much until they're around three or four. But the second they handed him to me after he was born, I just fell in love. Stupid in love. It's fierce and it's nothing I've ever felt for anyone before. It put my entire childhood in perspective. I understood why my mom was so weird and would cry at weird stuff when I was little. He's just over a year now, and every little thing he learns and does is just fascinating to me and it's wonderful and it breaks my heart and makes me whole to watch him get bigger. Sometimes I'll look at him and suddenly it'll hit me that he's not a baby anymore, he's a toddler and when the hell did that happen? I don't like the day to day of bathing him or keeping him out of the litter box or clipping nails or temper tantrums, but he's fabulous and I can't imagine not having him.
Posted by: Kayt | January 06, 2010 at 11:49 AM
@ruth: I absolutely do NOT mind any hijacking of that sort. I think of it as 'creative inspiration.' I think I stole the 'ask me anything' post from someone else long ago...
Posted by: the new girl | January 06, 2010 at 11:40 AM
Another Manson story is DEFINITELY in order!!!
Honeymooned in Jamaica at the Sandals Whitehouse resort. Totally awesome.
Superpower would be to be automatically fit and trim all the time without having to exercise or eat right.
I never knew parenting would be so HARD. I knew it would be good, but not so damn exhausting.
Posted by: Suzy Voices | January 06, 2010 at 11:21 AM
Oh, I love your questions back. Mind if I hijack them for a blog post of my own?
My very first job (not counting babysitting): cashier at the local drugstore. My very first day, I backed into the glass at the front of the cigarette shelf and broke it. Spent my first shift ankle-deep in cigarette boxes.
Posted by: RuthWells | January 06, 2010 at 11:10 AM
What surprised me most about being a parent is how much it would piss me off to see other people not taking care of their children. After having my own, I realized just how much I would do, or do without, to make sure my babies have everything they need and most of what they want. I just want to grab people up by their ears and slap them around when I see them out with their kids in freezing weather with no coats on them or kids that you can tell would eat anything you gave them if you would just feed them. It breaks my heart and makes me severely angry all at the same time. My mom gets to hear me rant about this every time I have to go to the store because I always see someone who isn't treating their kids the way they should be treated.
Anywho, next post will be Manson, right?
Posted by: Forgotten | January 06, 2010 at 10:58 AM
Good answers!
The personality trait I most appreciate in others is a sense of humor. I can overlook a lot of bad things if you make me laugh.
Posted by: -R- | January 06, 2010 at 10:36 AM
I'm going to do the honeymoon question, because it was fabulous and I like thinking about it.
My husband and I decided when we married three years ago that we were going all out. We knew we wouldn't take another vacation until our future kids (now present kids) were in college, and we wanted to have a great time. So we went to a place called Caneel Bay in St. John. Christ, I would do that again in a hot minute. It was completely amazing. We paid for a cheaper small room behind the tennis courts (still nice)(Oh, and "cheap" is $450 a night), but they upgraded us for no extra charge to a ROOM ON THE BEACH (normally over $1000 a night). Like, sand outside our door, water 4 yards away. It was so luxurious, so classy. It's all one story and built to blend in with the national park (most of St. John is national park), with low, dark buildings, and low lights that aimed down for limited light pollution. We barely knew anyone else was there. Four days there cost us several thousand, which we paid for by not eating out or buying anything but groceries for years (I wore a million year old bikini that week, kind of embarrassing around all the rich people). And if we ever get jobs and have about ten years to save up for another trip, we're going again. We talk about a fifteen anniversary trip all the time. Sigh. I'm not normally a luxury lovin' kinda girl, I prefer to stay longer time in cheaper accommodations, but this trip really opened my eyes to the other side.
Posted by: Gillian | January 06, 2010 at 10:35 AM
If I could have any superpower, it would be the power to start/stop time and the world around me. So when my alarm goes off at five am I could freeze time, sleep a few more hours, and then re-start time and it would still be five in the morning and I could get up and exercise like a rockstar, fully rested. It would also be useful to freeze time in the middle of the afternoon at work to fit in a nap.
Posted by: Anne | January 06, 2010 at 09:05 AM
Oh, good lord, I could mainline pink cream sauce. Even better if it has a little red pepper in it to give it a cajun flavor. Yum.
Let's see. Your questions back...
My superpower would be no need for SLEEP. I would gain several hours per day, and believe you me - I would NOT spend it watching Bella sleep. I would totally have a clean house, I would write that book I've always threatened to write. I would keep up on all the fabulous blogs I'm always behind on reading. I would... well, what - I would cure cancer and solve world hunger.
Insomnia Girl! Ta-Da!!!
Posted by: JustLinda | January 06, 2010 at 08:47 AM
Manson! Manson! Manson!
Um, what surprised me most about being a parent was the fact that I'm relatively apathetic about it. Love the kid. Dislike the job.
Posted by: attiton | January 06, 2010 at 08:46 AM