Pretty Soon, I Imagine You'll Demand Payment For Reading Here.

Three weeks into having two kids and I am at a loss for what to tell you about it.  I'm feeling blocked and flooded all at once.  There is so much swirling around that it's hard for my mind to settle and focus on one or two things to write about.  There is so much about this experience that I want to share (and save for posterity) but, you know, I'm feeling a little ovahwhelmed at the moment.

There's laundry to fold! and bills to pay! and pictures to download! and things to pick up off the floor! and OMFG LAUNDRY! And THAT'S just all the shit I have to do before either of the kids enters the picture.  For fuck's sake.  (Not like you guys don't already KNOW this--I'm just saying.)

I'd love to write the birth story.  It was a good one.  Or, maybe I'd like to tell you about the things that are easier than I thought they'd be (there ARE some, for real).  Or the things that are harder.  Or whatever.  Anything.  I really [envy] admire those people who have seismic life changes and keep on writing. 

Having an infant around has been such a trip, though.  I forgot FORGOT! the middle-of-the-night pooping. Geezuz. And how many diapers they go through.  Or the machine-like quality of their eating/pooping/sleeping regime.  How little connectedness there is, beyond the 'I'm-solely-responsible-for-the-well-being-of-this-tiny-grub' aspect. 

I wonder this throughout the day, about those of you who are totally smitten by and devoted to this infanty infant stage: What is it that captivates you about this?  What do you love about the small-floppy-ball-of-need?  Really, I'm asking.  I'm sure that you gather, even if you don't know me (by now/yet) that it's not my favorite stage.  For me, it's worth riding through (obviously,) to get to the other side. And I can appreciate the littleness and the floppiness but really, to me, they don't hold a candle to the walking and talking. So, spill it, Inquiring Minds and all that.

I'd love to go on and on with this train wreck of a post but right now, both kids are sleeping (whoot!) and I need to go and fold the fucking laundry. 

That or watch the DVD of Weeds I just got from Netflix that I joined because even though I have LESS time, somehow, I'm watching MORE television. 

Huh?

Comments

[jennifer, playgroups are no place for children]

I was just reading through my archives from when my 2nd was born. Hoo boy, it was amazing how much I'd forgotten from the first baby.

And my ass grew a root into my sofa while watching many a DVR'd episode of, um, everything.

[sue]

I love toddlers. Love babies once they can smile and interact and coo a little. The first two months? FAIL.

(My baby is seven weeks old today and he has reflux, which means hours of screaming every day. Yes, I love him. Yes, he is adorable. I would just prefer to wake up and have it be December, that's all.) (I refer to him as a breastmilk vampire. He is literally sucking the life out of me.)

I agree on the spacing though - I have four kids and the first three are all very close in age and it's been fantastic. They have so much fun together. I feel awful for the baby (five year space - SURPRISE!), he'll be so left out.

[parkingathome]

A thousand kisses on teeny little cheeks, miniature fingers grasping your gigantic one, waiting for the first smile, smelling the top of their heads, spanking baby powder on their teeny bums, seeing them feel like they're falling, snuggling their faces into your neck, and knowing that you are their world.

[BMom]

Hey New Girl - I am so late in posting my congratulations to you. Hope all is going well. Are you tired of hearing this yet....hang in there.

TV was my BFF with newborns. I watched an insane amount of Lifetime movies and was an expert all things infomercial.

I'll soon have a teenager in my home. I can share thoughts about that to distract you if you like. Just kidding. Take care!

[Julie]

I'm with Lauren. Seeing my kids play together, at 3 1/2 and 22 months makes it worthwhile. But I HATE the infant stage, too. I hate the neediness, the tedium, the sleeplessness and everything else it encompasses. My son was so easy that by 3 months he was a pleasure. My daughter? Still waiting.

[ElizabethSheryl]

I do not have children, but I've been a nanny and have a bajillion cousins, 5 of whom were born after I turned 11 making me Super Babysitter and now I have 4 nieces and a nephew SOOOOOOOO I have been around all the stages, and I dont get the infant thing either. Maybe this will change when I have my own, but prior to about 5 months? snoozefest. I LOOOOVE the ages of 9 months -14 months. That is the best time..they are getting their personality they are mobile but will bring you things they shouldn't have with grins on their faces and aaahhh I could just eat 'em with a spoon at that age.

[alice]

my girlfriend just had a baby, and i got to see it on its second day of life, which was the youngest baby i'd ever held. i was CAPTIVATED. every time the little guy so much as opened his mouth, i was all "OH! LOOK! HE OPENED HIS LITTLE MOUTH! AWW!" sooo maybe i'm not the right one to ask? ;-)

[Heather]

I agree with Swistle- its the fleetingness. I loved #2's infant stage so much more than #1's because I knew it would be so short-lived. Plus, we are done with 2 beh-beh's, so the notion that "this was the last time" for so many infant-y things made it all so much more delicious to me.

But honestly, its knowing how someone needs YOU so completely. To be needed, not because I can cook, clean and bring home a paycheck-but to need me for just being me. I got high off the notion of it.

[caramama]

Oh "Screaming Potatoes" is much more accurate! I'm going with that from now on!

[amy]

FWIW I hated the newborn stage. Very much. I liked it when they could entertain themselves for a few moments, sitting up.

[the new girl]

@caramama: HA HA! We call them Grubs or Screaming Potatoes around here.

[marty]

I don't love the infanty infant stage. In fact, I am already saying that if I can just make it through the first 3 months, that it will all be alright.

Everything is a phase. Everything is a phase. Everything is a phase.

[kat]

awwww when mine was brand new i watched Weeds OBSESSIVELY through netflix. his first lullaby was "little boxes on the hillside.."

[caramama]

Hmmm. I get what you people are saying in theory... I just want to get through it. There certainly are good parts, but I am with TNG. I like the older kids better.

My husband calls infants "lumps of broccoli." We are at 4 months with number 2, and it's getting better for us finally.

@Lauren - Thank you. What a great image to look forward to!

[J from Ireland]

I love the newborn bit for much the same as Swistle, the floppiness and the tininess. I love that this baby needs me more than anyone else and that certainly doesn't last.I am really enjoying the 2yr old conversations with my baby(2 is still a baby when its my last child!!) at the moment.
Best wishes to you all.

[Kelly]

I knew a woman obsessed with the infant stage.

Me? F*ck it. I mean, I want to snap a few pictures and snuggle that yummy head a few times, but then fast-forward me to 4 months, 'kay?

Write when you can, and don't worry about it.

[Lori]

I loved the infant stage because of the itsy-bitsy teeniness of it all. Those socks on those little feet and those wee nails and button nose. And the soft coo noises. But I have to admit, the talking and walking kicks butt.

[Lauren]

When your kids start to entertain each other you will be glad that you rode the newborn rollercoaster again. My 3.5-yr-old stood up yesterday and said, "Come on, Colin," to my 16-month-old and they walked out of the room together. For ten whole minutes I was completely unnecessary and it was FABULOUS! Hang in there :)

[Alias Mother]

As I'm now in the "highly opinionated and uncooperative" stage with the Buddha, I fondly remember the days before she became a three-foot-tall dictator. Taking care of clear, basic needs while getting to snuggle? *thumbs up* Taking hours out of my day to fake-cheerfully cajole her into putting on a pair of shoes? *thumbs down*

Babies and older kids are definitely my strong points. The temperamental toddler stage before reason sets in? Painful.

[jean]

Well, I'm with you. I'll take the talking stage any day of the week over the infant stage. At least there's a chance of knowing what is going on with a talker. With an infant it's so much more hit or miss and I missed alot.

[Sam]

I watched an ASSLOAD of television when Egg was a bitty baby, so I feel ya. And I LOVE new babies. I think because you can just hold and cuddle them as much as you want, where Egg now prefers to scootch around the floor and explore. I'm a total whore for new babies. NOM NOM NOM.

[Erica]

Oh goodness. This is giving me Nervous Tummy.

What have I gotten myself into?

[attiton]

I'm pretty sure that you feel you have "less time," but aren't you only sleeping like an hour a day, five minutes at a time? That means you have seven whole more hours to watch the TV.

[Swistle]

What I love is the tininess and the floppiness and the fleetingness. Like, I wouldn't want the child to STAY a newborn, but because I know it's a wicked short stage (about 5 weeks, while the walking/talking thing is YEARS) I really enjoy it.

[Secret Mom Thoughts]

I enjoy the crawling/walking stage more than infant stage too. The one thing I really loved though was the falling asleep on your chest.

[Manic Mommy]

You posted this at 6:12 am. Both kids were sleeping and you were thinking about folding laundry?!? I really hope you just posted it then, not wrote it then. Because? If you wrote it at 6:12, GO BACK TO SLEEP!

I agree that older is funner but the whole teeny-tiny-hands/morrow-reflex/ah-goo-stage just kills me. And the feeling of the baby sound asleep on your chest. Heaven.