Even Though It's Not My Story To Tell.

He was due today. 

His mother (a friend and a six-degrees-type relative) and I commiserated about our equally appalling pregnancies and talked about how close in age our boys, each our second child, would be.  A mere couple weeks apart. 

And then, last week, The Unthinkable, The Unspeakable, The Most Awful Thing happened.  Everything fell apart.  My friend and her husband and their first child lost their baby.  A lack of fetal movement and no heartbeat and then induction, labor and heartbreaking loss.

I can't stop thinking about them.  Can't stop.

And though I am truly ambivalent about sharing their story here, I understand that today--Today--is National Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Day and, well, there it is.

You can leave condolences here if you like.  My friends have asked that donations be made in their son's memory to First Candle.  If you're so inclined, his name was Zachary Owen.

xo

Comments

[Kelly]

My husband and I are best friends with a couple that lost a baby. She went through two weeks of start and stop labor and all this after she had miscarried two babies in the two years prior. I am so utterly sorry for your friends loss. It takes time, lots and lots of time to learn to live life again. Lend her an ear whenever she needs it. Our friends are now pregnant again two years later. Hopefully one day the hurt and the pain will ease for your friend. I pray for peace and comfort for them.

[Merium]

So sorry to hear this unbelievably sad news~my heart goes out to your friends. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

[Kelly Voelker]

Our heart goes out to them (and to you). So sorry to hear the news.

[ashley]

So sorry for your friends, for such an unspeakable loss, sending them strength...

[Emme Bea]

Unimaginable. Unbearable. I am so sorry for your loss, your friend's loss, everyone. Please let her know that there are people out her in the world that are feeling for her and her family.

XOXO

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

One of my worst nightmares. I'm so very sorry for their terrible loss.

[Well Read Hostess]

I'm going to try very hard today to keep my head out of my ass and the clouds and send good thoughts in the direction of those who really need them.

Thanks for the reminder about what's important.

-wrh

[LindseyMommy]

So, so sorry. Heartbreaking's an understatement, I think.

[Secret Mom Thoughts]

So sorry.

[Vicki]

May their hearts find a moment's rest. I lend my hand to help hold them up. I'm so very sorry. Send my deepest condolences.

[BMom]

I'm so very, very sorry.

There's no words to really describe it. It happened to my dearest friend and it is simply one of the most unimaginable things to describe.

You are a good friend with your lovely post in remembrance of their baby boy. Thanks for this message so we can all stop and think of their little loved one.

Thoughts and prayers.

[Gillian]

My husband's grandmother suffered this. Back in the day, they made her carry to term, almost a full month. Over 50 years later, she still speaks of that daughter. It is unspeakable, and unbearable, and I'm so sorry for their loss.

[amanda]

I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine. Love to them.

[Swistle]

Unspeakable and unthinkable, as you say. I am so sorry for them.

[erin]

Oh no. Oh. This is the worst I can imagine. I am so deeply sorry.

[Christy]

My heart just sank reading this. I'm so sorry.

[J from Ireland]

That is just awful, heartbreaking. Thoughts and prayers to them and you.

[Manic Mommy]

This happened to a co-worker of mine at 8 1/2 months, just days before I delivered my own son. It is unspeakable. No words of condolence will do. I send prayers.

[lora]

Jesus. I'm so sorry.

[MidLifeMama]

I am so sorry for your friends. A good friend of mine and his wife experienced this and he wrote a one man show about it that he has taken to the New York Fringe Festival called I Hate This. You can see info an read the play here http://davidhansen.org/i_hate_this.html. It is a small comfort knowing that others have experienced the same thing, but it is something.

[Alias Mother]

I have seen this happen twice. To the same couple.

There is no way to lose a child that isn't horrifying. But there is something so uniquely tragic about being so close to bringing a child in to this world, about feeling those end-of-pregnancy feelings of hope and expectation and wanting meet that little being, only to see it crushed... well. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen happen to my friends (TWICE!) and I am so sorry for your friend. So, so sorry.

[Jen]

I'm so, so sorry for them. So heartbreaking.

[autumn dahlia]

I am so, so sorry...

[Mama Bub]

Oh no. No.

I'm so sorry for you, your friend, her family, everyone.