Randomly Random Fact Friday!!

Proud Parenting Moment:
I was in the kitchen with The Little Sister and our kids were around the corner, in the living room, *playing.* (Which is usually a duration of 4.3 seconds during which The Nephew gets THISCLOSE to TLNG's face and lets rip a jungle-dweller-type scream, after which she yells, 'NOOOOO!' and BAAAAAAHPs him, kicking off a screaming-slash-wailing episode that measures something on a Richter Scale.)

But today they were talking to each other.  Asking and giving and 'pleasing' and 'thanking' and 'you're welcoming' each other.  The Little Sister and I were impressed [from our food-filled hiding spot.]  And then I heard my kid yell out:

'GREAT SHARING, GUYS! GREAT SHARING, GUYS!'

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The Little Sister called as I was making dinner to see if TLNG was 'okay.'  Then she told me that The Nephew had a temperature of 103 degrees.  So now, I'm WAITING, with DREAD for the middle-of-the-night-fever-spike-puke-fest that kicks off virtually any illness that TLNG gets.

Does this happen to anyone else's kids?  I mean, it's not even usually a puking virus.  It usually turns out to be a cold-like thing but the puking always comes first (and in the middle of the effing NIGHT.)

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I wrote it on Twitter and on Facebook but in case you don't follow and/or don't think of me as a friend, I'll tell you that some douchebag double-asshole motherfucker broke into our cars the other night.  They took my GPS and my sunglasses and he took The Man's work bag (which contained nothing but ALL HIS WORK.)  They even left the change (dollars worth!) and a couple gift cards.  The cop said that they are only after electronics and that they pawn them right away. Awesome.

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Speaking of Twitter, it's been fucking with me ALL DAY.  I know it got hacked and I can see your updates but I can't publish any of my own and I never realized how much I want to REACH OUT and bitch into the Universe.  The article about the hacking of Twitter ended with this quote:

"The lesson, he says, is 'not to limit yourself to Twitter and live or die by Twitter.'"

Baaaa ha ha haaaaaa!

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My kid, the comedian, has started to 'make faces.'  I have some photographic depictions for you:

Here is a neutral, 'What the fuck do you want me to-do-now?' face.

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This is the first attempt at a 'Mad Face.'  Also, she says, 'Grrrrrr,' while making this face.

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Second attempt at 'The Mad Face.'  Clearly, it needs work but the 'Grrrr' is pretty impressive.

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'The Scared Face.'

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This one she calls, inexplicably, 'The Bunny Face.'  I have no idea why but she says, 'Dis is deh Bunneh Fache,' through those comically stretched lips.  I've never seen a bunny make this face, though, so wth, kid?

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This is her 'Happy Face.'  It's the second attempt but how many pictures of my nasty grout do you need to see, really?

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And here, folks, is her NATURAL EXPRESSION, after she asked me to see the pictures that I just took and I told her to 'Wait one second.'  I call this one 'The My Mom Is An Effing A-hole Face.'

Have a great weekend!

Comments

[Cassie]

I couldn't update Twitter all day yesterday either. It drove me nuts. I love her "mom's an asshole" expression. I think kids come with that one built in!

[Manic Mommy]

The faces! In the tub! So effing cute!

Also, my sister (now 28) always spikes a super high fever and pukes with *any* illness. Once she was admitted to rule out menengitis. Nope. Just how she gets sick.

[Alias Mother]

Have you ever slaughtered a bunny in her presence? Because that's how I imagine a Bunny Face would look in that situation.

[Beth from SJ]

Thanks for making me laugh with the comments under the faces! The Natural Face and comment takes the cake! Also, remember, I am the crazy reader who fears sickness in a karmic way so gee thanks for that! (Said with love. Kinda.)

[Shelly]

I'm a fan of the bunny face.

[Suzy Voices]

At firest I read, "She has started to make FECES." Yikes.

The bunny face is THE BEST!

[Meredith]

I love it!! My three-year-old's faces cracked me up so much I had to make art out of it, ha: http://mlbornstein.blogspot.com/2009/03/some-recent-creations.html

Also my four-year-old always pukes before running a fever. And it usually occurs in MY bed.

[Laurie]

Your grout looks much better than mine. Excellent faces!

[BMom]

Those comments you can see when you roll over the picture always make me LOL. I love your humor.

The bunny face is my fave. :)

Oh yea. I have one of those. No matter what the illness, with a fever comes the puking, MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, in the bed, down the hall, but never quite to the bathroom puking. Earache? Puking. Strep? Puking. Unexplained, high fever, where did you catch that bug? Puking.

But hey, if it's any consolation, she's 7 now and that has gotten better. So there is hope!

[Amelia Sprout]

We had our first puke with a fever recently. I do not like. Not at all.

Twitter is still a flake. Don't people know I have meaningless things to say?

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I do not want to joke about your cars, but oh shit. You will not be able to get out of your neighborhood.

(Glad that's all they took. That sucks).

[Catharina]

The bunny face made me laugh so hard that I woke up my sleeping boyfriend. THIS is why I want to have kids someday I told him. Then I saw that last face (and your comment about it) and died with laughter.

[Emme Bea]

Love all the faces. Mine makes the "My mom is an A-hole" face too. I tell myself it's actually a "How could I love my mom more" face. Yes, I lie to myself all the time, why do you ask?

Love the self congratulations too!

[Swistle]

I love the bunny face and the "GREAT SHARING, GUYS!"

I still can't post on Twitter. *bad word*

[The Girl]

Oh my stinkin heck. I love it. When did she turn into a kid, anyway, wasn't she just a baby like TWO HOURS AGO?