Leaving On A Jet Plane: Or, The Most Common Post Title When Someone You Know Is Flying Away From You.

Today is the day, all.  Today marks the first-ever day that The Man will be away from this little family, since June of 2007, when [the 12 year date that we were on finally became FAMILY LIFE] we became co-parents to a crazy little girl baby.  I'm a little nervous.  He's a complete wreck. (Although, to be fair, he's a bit of a nervous flyer anyway.)

A hands-on dad, he's never satisfied with the quantity of time that he's able to spend with [TLNG] us as a family, thanks to his long-ass commute.  And the thought of 5 consecutive days without seeing [her] us has him feeling ultra-conflicted. (Although, again to be fair, he's a champion Decision Second-Guesser anyway.  Not kidding.  He holds The World Title.)

And I'm a little apprehensive, too.  I'm feeling better but not great.  We're coming off of a consecutive string of the hardest, most patience-trying days we've had since her infancy.  Two days ago, I completely flipped my shit and had to put her in her crib and walk away from her for the second time in her life.  Not so hot.

When we were [a couple who was free of major responsibilities, except, like, a mortgage] childless, we used to travel separately all the time.  I would miss him when we were apart, obviously, but we functioned independently and it was nothing for me to travel to my hometown without him [probably because his RELIEF at not having to go with me was immense].  But this feels different.  It feels incomplete here without him now. Like we're missing someone, instead of just, like, missing someone.  You know what I mean?

I know that there are people who do this frequently.  Families whose parents take business trips for work, week in and week out.  Military families whose members are gone, frequently, often for months or even years (!) at a time. Single mothers who do this solo-parenting shit every day, no matter what. But we've never done it before.  Like anything else, it's relative, I think.  It's a shock to our collective system.

It will all be fine, I know.  Most of our day will be exactly the same as it is when The Man is home.  But the hardest parts of our day (dinner/bath/bed), the parts that The Man and I do together every night, will be very different.  I'll miss him.  But, I also hope his Traditional Mental Glitch transfers over to the Parenting Mental Glitch and that, per his usual, once he gets there, he enjoys himself and the break from the rigors of work, home, work, home, work.  I want him to feel free of guilt and routine.  Even though it's hard for him to be apart from TLNG, I want him to get a break.  I'm hoping he comes back refreshed and energized.

And also?

Ready to do this shit when I go to BlogHer in July.

Comments

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Wait. You've only flipped your shit TWICE in 2 years.

I'm praying to the wrong Saint.

Just sayin'

:)

[A New Duck]

I have to emerge from my jealously-induced tantrum to tell you that I just read "Because My Heart Is Black As Night" and I laughed like a maniac until I surprised myself and just started crying because, hell, it's been a really long week. And I know your pain. I know it so, so well.

[A New Duck]

I have to emerge from my jealously-induced tantrum to tell you that I just read "Because My Heart Is Black As Night" and I laughed like a maniac until I surprised myself and just started crying because, hell, it's been a really long week. And I know your pain. I know it so, so well.

[A New Duck]

OMG, you are NOT going to blogher. Shitcrap. This is totally unfair. It's less than an hour from my house and I want to go like the fires of hell but it's tardo crazy expensive and I totally can't afford it, and Cynical Nymph is going and now YOU'RE GOING TOO. Noooo! This is so unfair! It's not right! I won't allow it! You all suck!

[This is the point at which you put me in my crib and walk away. Seriously, it's the best thing for me.]

[Swistle]

1. Love the title.

2. TOTALLY AGREE about it being relative. I think someone who didn't usually have a spouse would find it kind of hard to manage a week WITH one.

[the new girl]

T-Her: Stop peeking through my windows. It's just...NOT COOL.

[T-Her]

Is TLNG in a moany/whiny/tantrummy phase? Do commisserate.

[attiton]

I'm afraid I can never completely relax when I'm the one who's traveling...no matter how necessary that travel is. Part of my mind is always at home. Not because I don't think things are going well here, but--let's face it--because I feel I'm shirking some part of my responsibilities. I try to let it go, but I haven't entirely succeeded yet. It doesn't help that Rabbit ALWAYS GETS SICK when I leave and hubby always ends up taking her to the doctor.

[RuthWells]

Bad Things happen around our house when the Hubby leaves us for any length of time. I sympathize.

[Mama Bub]

Most nights my husband is only home for an hour or an hour and a half before Bub goes to bed, BUT on the off chance he isn't home (like four times in the last 22 months) I feel like the world might spin off its axis if I don't get a break NOW.

Last year he had to go to science camp with his students and I went to stay with my parents for four days. True story.

[Domestic Extraordinaire]

When hubby was in the military I didn't notice when he wasn't there to help out with the girls (okay I noticed but I was used to him forever being gone) Now that he has been out for 8 years, it is much harder when he is gone. Plus he is gone most of the day for work and doesn't return home until they are in bed-which is crazy on me. I hate this schedule because I feel like I am single parenting it-especially when I have two girls needing to go in two different places at the same time.

I am sure that the 5 days will pass quick enough and he will appreciate it even the more when you are in Chicago and he is back home with TLNG.

[catnip]

My husband was gone for ten days recently and I think the dread of him going was actually worse than the reality of doing everything alone. I wonder if he'll feel the same when I'm gone to BlogHer too!

[Manic Mommy]

I have two single parent friends. And I can't imagine. However, in both their cases, their husbands were really more of a hindrance than anything resembling help.

I'm facing SCHOOL VACATION WEEK all by myself. As with when I worked, I find it much easier to have him away during the week, when we're in a routine vs. going solo when school/work is out and the days just drift endlessly forward.

I totally get missing someone vs. someone missing. He's an integral part of Team New Girl.

[Angela]

I've always found dinner and bath time to be the hardest. After that afternoon nap, there just isn't as much to look forward to. I was surprised to find, though, that I enjoyed the hour or two after the kiddos had gone to bed. It was kind of nice to have the house to myself for an hour. For the first 2/3 days. Then I just missed my husband. Might be a great time to invite someone over for dinner, just so it won't be so lonely.

[Amanda]

You're right, it is all relative. When my husband was deployed, it was easier, per say, on our family because we were used to having him gone all the time for his job than the families who were used to having their soldier parent home every night at 5pm.

Now it's my husband's turn to have a job with flexible hours and he's home no later than 5pm most days. He's gone for the weekend, and it's killing me. I'm out of single parent practice.