A Tough Day

We're having a tough day today.  It started out with [the gazillionth] a Level-4 Meltdown over having to be changed out of a pee-SATURATED, night time diaper.  That landed TLNG in The Time-Out, from which she escaped, running into the hard-wooded living room in her footie pajamas.  As I [gave chase] went on my Retrieve and Replace Mission, she fell onto said hardwood, leading with her face.

Such began (and continued) our day.

TLNG is cutting no fewer than SIX TEETH right now, including three molars.  She's also cognitively developing at the speed of light, experiencing a surge in language and memory skills that leaves me shaking my [throbbing] head in amazement at least twice a day.  The by-product of all of this is a mercurial temper coupled with zero frustration tolerance served with a side of EVERYTHING IS A NEGOTIATION.  Which, my Regular-Person Mind can not only understand, but can also empathize with.  It's hard to be an almost-two year old, whose mouth is full of constant, nagging pain and whose synapses are firing away, making it hard to sleep or focus on any one thing for more than 3.4 seconds.  I get it, truly.

The MOTHER-Person Mind, though?  That's another story.

I'm pregnant.  And hormonal.  And uh, OLD.  I'm cranky and not sleeping well myself (although certainly and decidedly NOT because my synapses are firing...)  I'm less patient and I grow too easily weary of the constant wheeling and dealing that has to be done, if I am going to get The Toddler out of the house during the 5.3 seconds between when I fasten her coat and when she strips it off. Proudly.  Not to mention the wear and tear on my Mother-Person Mind that comes from the incessant Kirk-Outs that come with ANY. TRANSITION. WHATSOEVER.

*sigh*

I am the kind of person who would never go back to a past time in my life, in its entirety.  Sure, I'd go back to the pre-kid days for the Napping Potential.  But in the context of its entirety?  No.  I wouldn't want to go back.  Not to High School (godfahBID), not to college, not to post-marriage-pre-kid.  Not to one-kid, pre-pregnant.  I am always looking for what's next. I believe that as happy as I've been in the past, that there is always more good to come.  And I look forward to exchanging the old and worn for the (sometimes) strange and new.  Even if it's uncomfortable for a while.

I'm finding that about this, my Regular-Person and my Mother-Person Minds agree: I am the same in the tendency to look forward for my daughter and the experience that I have mothering her.  As impossible as she seems today and as impatient as I am with her burgeoning independence, I wouldn't want to go backwards.  Not to re-experience a past stage with her in its entirety.  I love who she is becoming and believe the difficulty, the pushing away, the meltdowns, the labile mood are all necessary and serve a purpose for her.  And I believe (or I FERVENTLY HOPE) that this is part of the stage, as it has been in the past.  Part of her shrugging off what is old and worn and working her way into what is strange and new.  And I'm SURE it's going to be uncomfortable for a while.

I mean, Two is right around the corner.

*SIGH*

Comments

[mimi]

I continue to laugh at how your kid and my kid are, in many ways, the same kid, only yours is wayyyy more physically agile than Munchkin.

Anyhow. I love the Escape from Timeout manoeuvre, particularly when it's followed by a grievous and entirely preventable ("I told you so! You shoulda stayed in Time Out!") facedown wipeout. Gah. Happens here all the time. Does TLNG narrate? Mine says stuff like, "And then I said I don't WANT to be in TIME OUT and I will OPEN my door and I will RUN into the hallway and then I will FALL DOWN and need a DOUDOU SNUGGLE."

Oh dear.

[Kelly]

I feel your pain. Being pregnant AND the mother of a small child is, at times, about as appealing as having cayenne pepper blown in one's eyes. And it's okay to say that.

Hopefully after those teefers come in? Smooth sailing. (Until 3, of course.)

[Trenches of Mommyhood]

Here you all being all serious and can I just tell you? I giggled at the word "labile".

[Sarah]

Three is when they really get you. All else is just warm-up.

[amanda]

It is all so freaking hard, but then it morphs and you remember it has beautiful interspersed with acceptable amounts of "Fuck that was hard." You are doing a great job. If you didn't get frazzled (even if you weren't in your current condition) I wouldn't believe you were human. Teething blows, but it leads to munching on carrots, eating whatever amazing little name she makes up for corn on the cob and head thrown back, eyes watering, laughing hard enough to shake the walls. Ave is almost three and life has been very challenging, but damn i find this time so amazing and so brief this not a baby, not a little girl moment.

Good luck, sweets.

[Keila]

I actually feel so bad for the tlng...Can you imagine 6 new teeth coming in, 6 different places in your mouth that hurt:(

I know this is going to sound corney but think of things just being temporary.

I am having SO much pain with my midsection area. My pelvis, my pubic bone, my tail bone and my sciatic nerve being inflamed is enough to LITERALLY make me silent wheep at least once a day. I KEEP repeating to myslef that I have ONLY 9 weeks left in pregnancy and so it is only temporary. I repeat that to myself very loudly as each new day things only ache a little more:(

Hang in there - it is only temporary:)

[Amanda]

I'm with MamaBub. Some days I miss being able to strap my 2yo into his infant carrier and go about my errands, or my day, as I need to, stopping to take care of his needs. Now, going anywhere is like taking the Barnum and Bailey's circus with us. Everyone has their favorite and least favorite stages. For me, it's the mofo 3's that get me. 2 is just a warm up.

[Mama Bub]

Bub and TLNG are like, days apart in age (I'm not a stalker, I swear) and I try to live in the moment while still looking forward to the next thing. As we had our first split lip/bleeding everywhere moment in public today I missed the hell out of the strapped in the infant carrier days for a second, until I remembered that those were also the up all night days and that black and white nostalgic moment was GONE.

[Ginevra]

just testing a comment - I saw a Tweet from you saying you'd been having trouble, and as the TypePad Community Manager, wanted to see if I could help in any way. Drop me a line at ginevra@sixapart.com if you want.

[the new girl]

Exchanging hard parts sounds a little sexay, don't it?

[the new girl]

I agree that it's all tough. And that it's all good/better. At least for ME. You exchange hard parts and fun parts but I like the evolution...the new stage and the new experiences.

[Manic Mommy]

I'm with MU; it's all freaking hard. But mommies are masochists. We're wired weird like that.

[jonniker]

This makes me feel so much better as I sit here sad and excited over the fact that my fracking newborn gained her birthweight plus whole pound and is now focusing on things in front of her. Because she's GROWING UP SO FAST HOW DARE SHE OMG. But of course, it's only going to get better.

I mean, I wouldn't go back to my pre-kid self, and I'm pretty sure I won't want to go back to Sam's newborn stage, either. Not if she keeps becoming more fun :)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I honestly think pre-2 is TOUGH. Oh hell, what am I kidding, it's all tough, in its own way.

But made more difficult with your "condition" (haha) of course.

It definitely does get better. And when she can ASK you for the princess stuff and the big gigantic hairbows, you will know it.
For now, though, here's hoping you win most of the tug o' wars. And by that I mean making it through the day alive.

xox

[Tess]

I like this. I would never go back to another phase of my life (in its entirety) either.

And dude, I have VASTLY PREFERRED each older age with Ava. Two was WAY better than anything that came before it, and 2 1/2 is AWESOME.

[MidLifeMama]

I hear you. I am not pregnant, but I am 44 and have a son who turned 2 in November. Daily he is saying new things, demanding new things, refusing things that he LOVED just yesterday, crying for any old reason, PRACTICING crying in the mirror when the opportunity presents itself and is in almost constant motion when awake. The good news for me is right now he still naps and sleeps at night like it is his job. If he didn't I would probably be in a witness protection program by now. But this is good right, they are supposed to grow and develop and give their parents more reasons to drink, right?