Fun Fact Friday!!

* Although I am not AS sick this pregnancy as I was the last, that is VERY LITTLE CONSOLATION when I am STILL FEELING SICK ALL THE DAMN TIME.  Hem.  Just an announcement, in case [people who keep reminding me that it's not AS BAD this time] you were wondering.

* Here's what the food deprivation does to me: I have dreams that I am EATING. Total EATING DREAMS.  How sad is that?  Want to hear something even sadder?  In these dreams, I'm not eating beautiful four course meals.  Last week I was eating a piece of peanut butter and jelly toast.  Last night, I was at a party at one of my old college friend's houses (Hi Laur!), parked in front of a table full of cookies and chocolate covered pretzels. *Sigh*

* Also in that dream, Laurie had secretly stolen/hidden everyone's cell phone.  People were getting anxious, patting their pockets, looking all around for their phones.  It's not that far fetched, though, really.  She's a trickster.

* Back when I was in college, I used to take a regular old clothespin to parties.  When I spotted a good mark, I'd clip that fucker to their sweatshirt or their jacket or whatever.  That person would walk around with that clothespin on them until someone was like, 'What the hell is that?' By the end of the night, about 78% of the [drunkards] attendees at the party had that clothespin on them at one point.

* Reading about Swistle's friend's Chicken Game made me remember a game that I played with my friend, The Kid.  She and I used to hide one of these things on each other:

We would put it in all kinds of places, the medicine cabinet, the washing machine, the freezer.  That last one made The Kid scream at like 6 in the morning.  We also hid *hem* other items too.  But I don't need the BAZILLION pervo hits I'd get for discussing the HUGE joke dink pildo that had two, err, front ends.

* The Little Sister recently bought a toilet seat that has a child's potty seat integrated into it.  She is certain that her toilet seat is better than at least 85% of the toilet seats in her neighborhood.

* Back in the [Paleolithic Era] day when I went out to bars, I used to go with my friend Non-Asian Kristen.  We went to this bar in which there were tables to sit.  Unfortunately, the design was bad and the place was always PACKED and so, people would stand RIGHT NEXT to your table, facing away from you.  Thus, putting their ASSES squarely in your FACES.  You want to know what I did?

* I used to poke these people in the ass with a swizzle stick.  I'd jab 'em, nice and hard, and then look at my friend and continue talking like nothing happened.  I'd do that two or three times to the same person, before my friend and I would D I E from laughing.  (No one EVER asked me about it.  They just eventually drifted away from us.)

* The Little Sister compared her toilet seat to her neighbors in homage to The Man and I, who will very often do that same thing. For instance, in our last neighborhood, we had better landscaping than at least 80% of the neighbors.  In this house, uh, not so much.

* I would find it hilarious if I was at a party and the host somehow managed to take everyone's cell phones and hide them in the laundry room.  I'd turn off the ringers, though. That's how Laurie got busted.

Comments

[GracewP]

I like to order essays for sale about this topic, choosing the writing services. You definately will need use plagiarism check. Now, you don’t have to worry about getting a failing mark simply because you have been accused of plagiarizing someone else’s work.

[The Other Sister-in-Law]

I didn't know you were pregnant again. Congrats!

[amanda]

Haughty 'bout the potty, love it!

[Kristen Catrabone]

OMG!! That was so effn funny!! Poking them with the swizzle stick...I can rememeber them looking at us and we just smiled and continued to talk. LOL

[Megan]

Hi TNG. I'm just de-lurking because you mentioned it in a previous post. I don't read daily, but I check in often. You make me giggle! I hope your morning sickness takes a hike, ASAP!

[Domestic Extraordinaire]

as always-very interesting!

[The Kid]

What the heck ever happened to that thing??? I screamed then too? not just when I almost stepped on the cat?

[Trenches of Mommyhood]

I'm dying to meet you in person. We would SO be friends in real life.

[Trenches of Mommyhood]

I'm dying to meet you in person. We would SO be friends in real life.

[the new girl]

Lor: you were probably WEARING the pins. lmao.

[nutmeg]

Back in college I used to pee in laundry baskets. Almost the same...

[Lori]

How come I don't remember the clothes pin thing? Oh, I was drunk.

[megumi]

The cell phone thing? I have to try that sometime because that would be hilarious!

[Manic Mommy]

If I remember correctly, you were dreaming about BJs with your first pregnancy. Oh, how things change.