Since There Has Been A Rip In The Time/Space Contiuum, I Think I'll Write A Post About The Holidays.

Mah Baybay is still sleeping.  It's 7:28 in the morning.  This is the third day running.  At first, I thought that she was getting sick but no.  So, I figure if there's a giant meteor heading for Earth and it's making her sleep because it's messing up the magnetic whoosy-whatsits, then why not just write a post?? About Christmas??  HO HO!

Anyway.

Here are my holiday plans.  Aside: isn't a post like this every troll's dream?  Every time I write something, so, I don't know, idiosyncratic, I think about the typical criticism of bloggers and, well, yeah.  All right then.

My holiday plans.  I am interested in traditions.  Even from a young age, I remember enjoying the ritual and routine of the holiday traditions in my family.  I also enjoy hearing about other people's traditions, what they do during their holidays.  In some ways, traditions seem to weave together a family's experiences and gives a person the tapestry of memory.  Most of my recollections of celebrations have mostly to do with the traditions themselves.  For instance, I remember unwrapping gifts in the morning and although I remember very few of the gifts (besides that strawberry sweater that my mom got me that was HORRIBLE but she was so completely disappointed that I didn't like it because she LOVED it) I remember the rhythm of the days, the foods that we ate, the family we saw.

When I was little, we used to wake up [at the ass-crack of dawn] early and get our stockings and then wait [forever until my ball-busting father would get out of bed] for our parents.  We would open our presents, have breakfast and then later would go to my grandparents' house to see my mother's family.  It was basically another Christmas there, as we opened almost as many presents there.  We ate Stuffed Celery, olives off the relish tray, meatball and turkey sandwiches on fresh white bread rolls.  Later still, we'd go to my Italian Aunt's house and [run around like crazy kids] visit with my bazillion first cousins, well into the night.  After the multi-course meat/cheese/pasta/sweets-fest, there were the wine bottles, the tangerine rinds and the nutshells on the tablecloths and the sounds of four or five conversations going.  You know, in Italian.  With, you also know, VOLUME.

Our family gatherings got smaller and smaller.  People moved, went to school, had their own families, got old.  It became clear that my grandmother's confusion was a problem when she was unable to follow one of her own recipes for Christmas cookies.  My mother took over the holiday celebrations after that but with one of her brothers in another state, the other incommunicado, and her two daughters far away, their celebrations were small.  We would go home when we could.  And then my mother died.  After hosting only 4 Christmases. 

After a little grieving time and some distance to think, it seems to me that these kind of traditions, these tapestries, are woven mostly by The Women in a family.  Despite my grandfather's ability to wrap a mean gift, it is mostly the women who prepare and execute, right?  We are The Bakers, The Cookers, The Gatherers, The Feeders and The Cleaner-Uppers.  Not totally.  But mostly.  Certainly, in my experience anyway. Because after those two lynch pins were loosened, all of my family's traditions unraveled.  The tapestry unrolled and unwound. 

As a mother to a small girl, I find myself trying to consciously build traditions. Create memories or, more accurately, create a framework onto which her memories might hang.  Weave our own traditions.

So, Christmas Eve we will spend with The Man's Brother and Sister-in-Law.  We'll do this every year.  Afternoon play and gift exchange and dinner and to bed.  We'll alternate houses.  This year, we're starting at theirs.  And on Christmas, we'll rise good and early, have tea and croissant, open gifts and then get together with The Little Sister's family for [I woluld call it a brunch but The Man says he HATES a brunch] breakfast.  We'll open our gifts and play.  And, later still, we'll get [dressed] dressed up and go to The Man's Sister's house.  To party [until 6:30pm, baby] into the night.

If you find yourself wanting to share your plans, I really am interested.  Either way, though, I sincerely hope that your holidays are happy and joyful, whichever your holidays, whatever your traditions.

xo

Comments

[Manic Mommy]

Chrismas Eve this year, we're at my MIL's with his family. Andy and I will be up late wrapping Santa presents, then exchange our own. In the morning, the boys will hit the ground running and we'll be there to video tape it all. We're off to my sister's with my family for dinner, then returning here for drinks, etc. with some more family and friends. Something for everyone. Thanks for reminding me to be grateful for having so much of our family so close.

Merry Christmas to you and your family, TNG.

[Jamie]

I love this post. Love it love it love it.

A couple years ago, I went to a conference at Azusa Pacific, the theme of which was art-making in the context of Christianity. And the main point within that theme was the importance of ritual. I had never thought of it before the presenter pointed it out (especially since Evangelicals--i.e. my family--tend to be suspicious of religious ritual as "Catholic." And for some reason, that's bad).

At any rate, my family is still very deliberate with our seasonal rituals. And that's spurred mostly by my dad, believe it or not. I think it's because his mom was the lynch pin of his family; after she died, his family kind of went nutty; at any rate, they gathered infrequently. I think my dad has worked very hard to make sure that doesn't happen in our family.

Good post :-)

[Jaci]

My holiday plans are different yet the same every year. My husband and I switch who's family gets what holiday every year.
Something that never changes is Christmas Eve. We go to dinner at the inlaws, and. . . decorate the Christmas Tree. They don't decorate until Christmas Eve, its been a tradition since my father in-law was a child. Then we go home and sleep. In the morning, the husband and I open our gifts with each other, and then depending on who got Christmas morning, go to that parents house. This year is my moms house for "brunch". For the remainder of the day its the in-laws again. But this year my mom, step dad, and grandpa is coming to dinner. Since my grandmother passed away a month and a half ago, my mom and grandpa really don't feel like cooking that day. I love that both sides of my family can be family together.

[Mama Bub]

Now that I'm a parent I get very sweaty palmed and anxious about the holidays. The traipsing all over town, the jacked up schedule, the chasing Bub through the house of knick knacks, er, the Mother In Law's house. But it's Christmas, and for all my complaining, I'll miss it when it's over.

This year we're spending all day Christmas Eve with my parents. We'll open gifts have dinner, go home and wait for Santa,

Christmas morning we'll wake up, open Bub's gifts, pile into the car for brunch and gifts at the MIL's then pile into the car again for dinner at the not-really-an-uncle-but-they-call-him-one-anyway's house.

Being the mother of a boy, I worry I have a finite amount of time with him before we lose him to his wife. Husband and I joke that he should marry an orphan to avoid this problem. We're mostly kidding.

[Vicki]

Oh man. I could go one all day about traditions at my parents house. I'll skip most of that and go to my own traditions. Every year since we have been dating, my hubby and I pick out a Hallmark ornament for the two of us. When the boys were born, we picked one out for them too. This year since we're expecting a girl, when picked a three-piece ornament set that has baby Mickey, baby Pluto, and baby Minnie. Aside from that, until the boys are bigger, Hubby does the hooks and ornament prep. I hang the ornaments. He strings the lights and garland first with me following around the tree in circles. We are absolutely hilarious with the lights. It gets kinda crazy. We had such a blast this year because the boys followed us around the tree every lap. It was soooo cute. We get up early, open presents, get ready and go to my mom's then to his parents, then to my nanny's, then to his aunts. Xmas eve we go to my dad's and his other aunts for a party. We stay pretty busy those two days. I'm still waiting on those pics of TLNG in her dress. Can't wait much longer...may have to snowball you soon if you don't post them. Lol.

[Amanda]

I love Christmas traditions. My family's have gone to hell since Grandma died. SO now I make my own with my boys. We stay home because the grandparents buy too many toys to fit in the car. If they have to bring them or ship them, they contain themselves more. So it's just the 4 of us, and I'm the little kid in our house. I even woke the kids at 6am last year because I was that freakin excited. We open gifts, my husband makes pancakes, and then we lounge in our pajamas all day. No one but me is into the turkey dinner thing, so this year we voted and instead of alfredo, we're having hoagies and fries with gravy. It's probably the most relaxing day I'll have all year. And another tradition I have is I take all the toys out of their boxes, take all those godforsaken twist ties off, put needed batteries in, and THEN wrap so when the kids rip the paper off they're ready to play with. There's nothing worse than a 2yo waiting impatiently for you to put batteries in the cool new toy after you've wrestled for 15 minutes to get it out of the box Ft. Knox built.

[Swistle]

You are totally right: it generally IS the women who hold it together, isn't it? And when one woman drops a stitch, another woman has to pick it up or else it won't be picked up.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

We're going to lie to the kids and tell them Christmas is 12/26 so the huz can be home.

Okay, maybe we won't lie, but how's the for a Christmas tradition.

We're also thinking about making the family cold a tradition too.

[Somedayme2]

Ahhhhhh Christmas....I really miss Tradition, from my side of the family. My grandparents(dad's parents) were the keeper of the Holiday Traditions. My gram especially...She has been gone for some time and I try crazy hard to give my kids the type of Christmas I remember and LOVED. We have alot of the same things going on but what bothers me the most is, it isn't my "family" that I will celebrate with, it is my neighbors and they are WAY better company. I invited relatives last year and WHAT A MISTAKE...they acted horrible. They have changed so much since gram has gone, not the people they used to be, and I suppose I am not the same either. So I will be sharing my traditions with my "adopted" family and be just as happy.
Significant other's parents are gone and his siblings are idiots so he has written them off, which is a huge relief because they would ALWAYS fight and blame it all on him, and would go as far as to say HE RUINED ANOTHER HOLIDAY. Such heart wrenching shit to overcome. He is way happier without them.
We will be having our huge dinner on Christmas eve and a LARGE breakfast on Christmas morning. Everyone is delighted with that schedule. Thanks for sharing, Blessed Christmas to you and yours, Safe Travel as well!

[mom, again]

both my parents families were large, so where we went on which day and who was there was a bit flexible. With everyone's in-laws mostly in driving distance as well, various families alternating year schedules was complex!

Still, as we got old enough, mom or dad would take each of us shopping alone, and, for me at least, an ice cream sundae at the Woolworths counter was always part of this. Taking turns locking ourselves in moms room to have privacy for presnt wrapping. We were allowed to open 1 present Christmas eve. We were allowed to go get our stockings and bring them back to our bedrooms, but nobody could stay in the living room or touch the presents until everyone was up & mom and dad had mugs of coffee. (My dad considered himself quite the amateur photographer, so the coffee making time was also spent washing faces, doing hair nicely and otherwise making sure we were photogenically prepared.

Then we went to church with mom, had brunch that dad had fixed while we were gone. Then, began supper prep or went off to elsewhere for supper.

A number of food traditions, but they are geographic (deep south) as much as familial.

[Lora]

When I was young, Christmas Eve was spent at Grandma L's house with my dad's entire family. He had 7 brothers and sisters and they all had numerous children each so it was a loud, crazy party. Grandma L had a punch that she made every year and she always reminded us that it wasn't for the kids. We had soda in small glass bottles instead. Grandma L was always drunk by the end of the night. Christmas Day was spent with my mother's family. Much, much smaller and the only one getting drunk was my father. We alternated houses every year but I just remember having a great two days.

Now, the Mister is not very into "traditions" having not grown up with them. So I struggle to give my son the framework you describe. Tradition is so important to me and yet, it seems so difficult to have when you are the only one who cares about it. My son is almost 7 so he's young enough to not completely care about the traditions yet. I try to do some little things the same every year: the cheap chocolate Advent calendar (like I always had), baking gingerbread cookies (even though I hate making cut-outs...again, I had them as a child), a stocking for St. Nicholas Day. But the larger traditions are lacking, in part because we live so far from my family - the keepers of tradition. It's something I struggle with emotionally every year.

[A]

I have an ass-backwards family also. My parents got divorced about 15 years ago and since then my family has consisted of my sister, her kids, my mom, me, and for the last 5 years, my fiance. The day after Thanksgiving, Christmas EXPLODES in our house and stays like that until well past New Year's. Because my mom is a nurse, she has to work every other Christmas Day. To get around this, we all go down to my sister's house on Christmas Eve, eat lasagna, and exchange gifts. With the addition of my fiance, we (him and I) then go to his great Aunt's house for a 9pm Christmas party (and sometimes we'll make Church before hand, depending on how much time we get to spend with my mom previously). Then the FI and I return to our house to open presents with my mom. Christmas morning is spent brunching with FI's great-grandmother and the rest of his family, then we laze around for the rest of the day trying to digest a month's worth of cookies, turkey, and other holiday goodies.

[Kayla]

We never really had much of a tradition because my mother suffered from a slew of mental problems and never wanted to partake in other people's activity's (even though it was her family). It all went to hell when my great grandmother passed away and my mother never decorated the house again - she figured I was too old for that and my brother was not interested. I was 4 and he was 2!!!!

WHEN we did escape and go to Grams house we had a blast. Imagine your holdiays but remove italian and insert Spanish, remove pasta and insert rice and then add pork, beans, yuca.

Once I was 18 and moved out of my house (can you blame me) and my whole family moved to Florida - my best friend and I set up our own tradition. I would sleep over her house on the 24th, wake up nice and early to make presents and cook the food we had been seasoning the night before.

My family moved back several years ago but after some traumatic deaths they just never celebrated it - UNTILL THIS YEAR.

THIS year we are going to a resturant (grams does not want to cook, my aunts don't want to make a mess and I don't cook pork)and bringing my best friend and her family:) BUT this will nto interfere with OUR tradition because see my family is backwards - they CELEBRATE like REALLY celebrate Christmas on the 24th - nothing happens on the 25th! On the 25th we would eat leftovers and play wiht our toys. So 24th we will be at a resturant where THANK GOD I will not have to eat Pork and on the 25th I will be with my best friend and her family! WOOT