Most Likely As Annoying To Read As It Is To Write

I just got back from the grocery store.  I went for a 'small shop' (2 bags of necessary items) so that it would be a quick in-and-out, a close shave with The Littlest New Girl's nap time.  Friends, I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I stood in line for TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES. 

How many people deep do you guess this line was?  Eh?

Um. TWO. 

Yes, yes.  You read that correctly.  I was the SECOND PERSON IN LINE.  The first person?  Might have been the Sphinx but I can't be sure.  She sure was whooping it up with the cashier (her contemporary in ancientness.)  There was even A BAGGER, folks.  He, however, was of Questionable Mental Capacity and so, outside the scope of my tirade (even _I'm_ not THAT big an asshole.)

So, let's do the math, shall we?  There was one old lady customer, one old lady checker, one QMC bagger plus $174.63 of groceries, equalling TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES to do the business at hand.  Although, with the two trips back into the store to exchange items and lively discussion about the type of Christmas Cookies that each preferred, well, I guess that I should feel LUCKY.

And it was hard not to feel lucky, what with my super-bundled, past nap-time toddler, twisting in the seat of the cart, loudly demanding all of the balloons and stuffed animals within a three aisle radius...

The best part was that when FINALLY got to the front of the line?  The old-ass lady said NADA.  No greeting, no 'Happy Holidays', no 'Which are your favorite cookies?' [magic cookie bars or my gram's orange cookies.]  She tossed my groceries to the vacated spot the checker left behind after he walked away from my order.  Apparently, my caterwauling child offended her.  Or perhaps, she [heard my passive aggressive sighing and pissiness] was sharper than she looked.

*SIGH*

And that's only one of about a HUNDRED little things that are irritating the absolute SHIT out of me right now.  I am loathe to go on, as you've been so tolerant already (do you hear crickets?)

What are you cheesed about?  Anything?

Comments

[the new girl]

Jane: I was the second person in a line of MANY. A-L-L of my shit was on the belt already, by the time the in-depth cookie comparison started.

I'd have had to reload the whole lot into the cart with my already melting down kid and fight like a salmon out to another line.

As for saying something out loud...HA HA HAAA. I thought my heavy sighing would be enough.

[Jane]

Why didn't you just choose a different aisle? Say something out loud to the checker? Anything?

[New Duck]

I'm not going to go into what pisses me off because I'm pretty sure I'd be over the word limit that your blog allows for comments (surely there's a limit). In other words, pretty much everything pisses me off. But I will say that at the slightest sign of checkout line delay I get so mad I simply drop my groceries and leave. Yeah, I'm *that* crazy woman.

[Domestic Extraordinaire]

I am doing okay right now, I think.

Ask me later when I have to deal with idjits and slushy nastiness that we call roads.

[Sam]

PS I just read Amanda's comment that contained my favorite phrase for the day "total goat fuck."

[Sam]

Remember the thing I ran over with my car? Well I got a form in the mail requiring so much info that I almost left a vial of blood when I filled it out and the fuckers (Farmer's Ins) put in BOLD on the form that if I failed to complete it within 30 days they could drop my car insurance. WTF FARMERS? Need an excuse to cut your losses, eh? Assholes. I hate insurance companies. They suck sweaty donkey balls. Or they should. Or they act like they just did and they are pissed at me about it. Whatever. I'm cheesed off at them. Thanks for listening/reading/etc.

[Swistle]

Okay, yesterday? The checker was so slow it was actually FUNNY. My mom and I were SNORTING as the checker picked up each item, admired how it sparkled in the fluorescent lights, scanned every side that did not include the scan code before looking carefully at the item again to find the scan code, scanned it, and then tucked it gently and lovingly into a bag. Then removed it and put it into a different, identical bag. We think she might have been high.

[Manic Mommy]

Our front walk is the lowest point on our cul de sac. We've discussed raising the walkway for years. Last spring it was going to happen. And then Andy put it off until later in the season when the cement wouldn't freeze as it set. Today, we got snow, then rain, then sleet. Today our walk is a partially frozen moat. Awesome!

[Amanda]

Try the Walmart checkout for 10 items or less. 2 people in front of me. First person wants to use some wierd looking check. It wouldn't go through the check scanner and they have no way to manually enter numbers. She stomps off and leaves her order. Next person divides her order inot 3 transactions and pays with 3 different credit cards (and we wonder why so many are in debt?). Total time in the "express" line? 20 freakin minutes.

Today, the President is here on post. It's a total goat fuck to go anywhere. The secret service guys looked at me all funny when I was going into the post office to mail packages. I gave them the look back that says "I don't give a flying rat's ass WHO you are. Get out of my way." Oh, and I e-mailed the garrison commander when we got home from running errands. My DH asked me to be nice - muwahahahaha. He doesn't work here on post. I was properly pissy since we weren't notified of the new traffic patterns for the day. Dillweeds.

[Natalie]

Oh boy, do you really want to open up the discussion for complaints?

Let's just say that Qwest has their heads stuck up their asses and I have not been passive-agressive in my anger with them. I've darn near made a few people cry over it. It's a long story, but they f'd up, and for THREE WEEKS I've been trying to get it fixed. I'm done being nice.

[Catherine]

I had this happen once....well maybe not for 25 minutes....more like 10...BUT once I did get to the front, the checker proceeded to read the newspaper I was BUYING. At least she was friendly and commented to me about what she was reading. Obviously I am too nice, I let her. I felt like I could just throw it away after I checked out because I already knew what it said.

[Mama Bub (formerly Megan)]

After a checker asked me bitterly if I should "even be out of the house" when I was grocery shopping at 41 weeks pregnant (what, like I could go into LABOR?!) I just keep my head down and pretend like I don't speak english. Oh, and I always get in line with the surly teenage checker who isn't chatty.

[Princess Hippopotamus]

My boss who had a root canal at 10am yesterday and then came back to work and proceeded to screw up everything because she was on too much painkillers. But she just HAD to come back because she HAS SO MUCH TO DO! She was useless and wasted everyone's time.

[astarte]

Old people can be SO rude!! It's like they feel like they're in some kind of great social club or something that we SO do not belong to.

Currently pissing me off are my in-laws. In fact, I'm so pissed at them, I have to write my own post, because this was getting WAY too long!

[Gillian]

I accidentaly hit myself in the face with the car door three days ago (it was easier to do than you would imagine.) I am now sporting a huge black eye. On Friday we are having our first famiy studio photo taken with our new son, who is 7 months old, because I put my foot down and demanded that we get some cute professional pix before he goes to college. Damn damn damn.

[*m*]

I got on a line like that at Marshall's the other day. Nightmare. I feel your pain.

[Kayt]

I'm pissed I'm not in labor yet. I've been dilated since Thursday, he's dropped down low, and if I don't go naturally by 8 am tomorrow, I'm getting induced. I'd prefer to go naturally so I can walk the halls and sit in the Jacuzzi if I so choose. If they induce me, my hospital requires me to stay in bed. I'm just uncomfortable, cranky, and ready to have this baby!

Also, I really really hate the kibbutzing type when the lines are long!