Back To Business

So!  Hey, thanks for the comments and compliments on that last [long-ass, somewhat maudlin] post.  It's nice to try to flex the writing muscles every once in a while.  Especially when they most often feel atrophied and possibly in need of some physical therapy to get them reasonably functional.  *ahem.*

Anyway.

*Brisk Clap!*

Let's get back to business! Which, around here (in case you're new to The New Girl) means, of course doing what you do best: [tolerating my non-sense] Answering my queries.

This one, in the area of Lovies.

Behold, The Littlest New Girl with her future-lovey, and although she appears somewhat interested in these pictures, I have to tell you that we were ALL oblivious to the POWER and GOODNESS of of this little weird looking baby doll thingie:

I almost took it back because it looked a little creepy to me.

.

What with those little blue eyes and the yarn braids.

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I couldn't find the receipt for it.  So, we kept her. (The dolly, not the baby, OBV.)

.

So, The Little Creepy Dolly was in TLNG's room and would just, you know, be here or there, whatever.  It was in her crib for a while and then on the dresser.  Then all of a sudden, one day, TLNG started to show a definite preference for this baby.  At first, I just thought she was kidding me.  But it turns out?  She was serious.

Then, only That Dolly could sleep in her crib with her and Elmo (HA! You didn't forget him, did you?) And soon after that?  She started talking and her first word?  BABY.  She still pronounces it DAY-DEE, but we know who she means.  The critical turning point came on day after she'd gotten a boo-boo and it was to The Baby she turned for comfort and consolation.  Crushing Elmo in the Lovey Smack-Down of the Century.

Anyway.

I had a pretty good thing going with this Dolly. In my determination to keep track [of this fucking thing so that it was never lost at bedtime] of Dolly, I encouraged TLNG to put her back into the crib after getting changed in the morning. Dolly would hang out in the crib all day and wait for the company at night.  And then one day?  It was like she realized The Baby was portable and could go places with her.  I blame the babysitter who brought Dolly with her to The Little Sister's house for a drop-off.

Are you still here?  All right, I'll get on with it already.

Here's what all the good lovin' has done to poor Dolly:

I know that she's still got all of her appendages (so far,) but she's filthy (even after repeated washings.)

.

And let us take a good long look at her bangs [which make her look like she's from Jersey.  In the 80's.]

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'Where's the other braid?' you might ask.  And that, my friends, would be an EXCELLENT question.

And so, as close as I came to returning Dolly before I knew of her importance in the world, I am now officially TERRIFIED of losing her or leaving her somewhere.  (She really gets around now, as we NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT HER.)  I was so terrified, in fact, that I went online and purchased ANOTHER creepy, little, Dolly just like her.

And thus, my question to you.  How?  If?  Can I?  Introduce the New Lovey?  The Man and I [as effing USUAL] have a fundamental disagreement on this point.  It is his opinion that we wait until this Lovey has completely Shit-the-Bed (my dad's charming term for when something FINALLY gives out for REAL) Ahem. 

Anyway.  

It is The Man's thought that we'll just give her the brand-new Lovey after her old one is no longer repairable or functional.  To which I cry, 'CRAZY TALK!' as I am of the opinion that it will happen soon (if it has not already happened) that her love for this Dolly will move from being aimed at This Particular Model of Dolly to THIS PARTICULAR DOLLY.  And once that happens, we're totally fucked in the replacement department (which is not at ALL as sexy as it might sound).  I am thinking there needs to be a more immediate introduction, and perhaps, some alterations to The New Dolly (haircutting?  gelling the bangs?) so that there can be some even-wear-alternating between Dollies.  Some overlapping, if you will--a Rotation Situation.

I'm thinking we may already be too late.  Your help can't come soon enough.  My hands are raw from wringing.

Tell me.

For pete's sake.

What do I do with her:

TNG: 'What's that I smell?'
You: 'Um.  That's a give-away, I think. That's what a give-away smells like.'

Comments

[mom, again]

my oldest got attached to a blanket my grandma crocheted. The thing was leaving little bits everywhere by the time she was old enough to convince it should be put away in a special box. Which, at 23, she still has.

With the boy last year, I planned ahead. I bought a taggie blanket, thinking I'd eventually get a second of the same design for switching out for laundry. And if the worst happened we could still purchase an emergency replacement. Clever me! From Day 1 it was always there at naptime, bedtime and usually with us in the carseat or stroller. I was sure I could manage to create the luvvie most convenient to me.

But, when he came to the luvvie stage, he focused on the little flannel receiving blanket that happened to be in his bed for a week or so when the weather turned chilly in early summer. He could not care less for the taggie blanket. It isn't even of interest as a general plaything.

I still win though, the flannel blanket is one of a matching PAIR my mom sent, so I am washing and rotating them. Yay! And she got them at Target, so I'm going to ask her to just buy another pair if possible. She doesn't have to spend the overseas postage unless the need arises. If it never does, she can donate it to Goodwill. Yeah?

[Clink]

Watch it...I'm from NJ in the 80's.

My nephew has Mushie. He is a six year old stuffed pup. Every part of him has been restuffed and sewed back on more times than we can count. My SIL has purchased 2 other 'Mushies' over the years and the boy will have none of it. She even tried the whole "rotation" theory. Total failure. When the real Mushie would eventually rotate back the boy would hide it and refuse to 'let it go bye bye' again. Airports have been turned upside down on the search for this dog. My brother gave a speech at my wedding likening the boy's love of Mushie to the love Spouse and I share.
Seriously, I think you may be stuck with the baby doll. Which, in total honesty is one of the creepiest dolls I have ever seen. The missing braid certainly doesn't help. :)

[mimi]

She won't notice the difference. Swap it in now, so eventually it'll even out to two partly-ratty dolls.

(We sensibly [like we planned it!] got our daughter attached to cloth diapers. We swap them in and out of rotation all the time. Once we swapped from white cotton to unbleached cotton--Munchkin was two!--and she didn't notice.)

[Dadof2]

One lovey was a blanket which went to college with my baby last year - worn and frayed but still loved. The other lovey was a bear - for which we were unable to find a replacement - that is now just a fuzzless, eyeless misshapen vaguely brown lump that still has a place of honor on my teenager's bed. As with all true love - appearances really don't matter.

[Amanda]

Alright, so. What I'd do? I'd throw that new little creeper into the washing machine a few times with something that's darker. Say, jeans or towels that have been washed and faded but that you wouldn't want to wash your whites with. BECAUSE THEY WOULD DARKEN.

Creepy Dolly 2.0 will be lightly dyed and thus will *look* grungy without you having to drag her around behind the car for a week. Also, the bangs will go up in the same fashion that Creepy Dolly Sr.'s have. (For reals. Every stuffy/dolly I ever had that was sent through the wash came out with the 80's high-roll look.) And you can always snip the other braid off. Or yank it off. Or whatever you/TLNG did to CDS's to rid yourself of it forever.

Then maybe just... slip her in there and gague the reaction. If it doesnt fly, you can always leave the room with CD2 and come back in with the original. Maybe try it one night when TLNG is super-sleepy, or trade her out during the night when she's already snoozing.

Now. I know this SEEMS like it's dishonest and a little cruel and also a teensy bit risky because, dude, what if she wakes up and totally loses her shit because WHAT THE EFF HAPPENED TO CREEPY DOLLY SR?! SHE'S CHANGED IN SOME TINY IMPERCEPTIBLE WAY DURING MY SLEEP! is always a possibility.

But whatever. *shrug* That's when you say, "I know, and isn't she PRETTY?! WHO WANTS ICECREAM!"

[Spacemom]

Ebay! Then explain that Dolly needs to get a bath and a new hairdoo at the doll cleaner and Viola! Return with the new dolly!

[The Mrs.]

I'm for the switching dolly out so that this new dolly can get loved like the other dolly - the rotation. Otherwise, TLNG may be like "that is not my dolly." Then there may be a problem.

[Sarah]

I knew someone who yearly sent the teddy bear for a night at the hospital where it was magically changed into a new one of the exact model. The kid bought it. Maybe the she needs to be a bit older to understand the whole hospital fixing things though.

[Manic Mommy]

I live in fear of losing "the blanket." I'm lucky I can pry it out of his hands to wash it. What about switching them out while she's sleeping? Don't wait until Dolly gets any grungier and don't lop off the new one's braid. Be careful not to have both out at the same time. My neighbor's son now carries around "the twins."

[Nicole]

First time commenter here...Uhhh, good luck with replacing the dolly. Your girl knows what you are up to. I have to deal with the exact situation with my son. No, no dolly for him. He has this lovey blanket. I bought a replacement, he SMELLED it and REJECTED it. So, now we are also screwed.

Nicole

[Shannon]

Wash the new dolly..so she looks a little more worn. Do you wash the stuffed animals dollys in a pillowcase? it keeps them from wearing down so quickly...
When old dolly needs a bath, do the switch, and make a big deal on how you fixed her hair.
I so regret not having back ups of my little one's favorite things, I'm mush wiser the second time around!
Back ups are GREAT!

[beth]

Ugh. Sorry, in my home there is no replacement...eyes, fur, ears, nose missing and they still love it...

[Amanda]

I'd start the new one into rotation now, but don't let on that there's 2. Then you're setting yourself up for having to have BOTH at the same time. Lucky you for finding a replacement. My son has this raggedy blanket that I'll be damned if I can find another one with the tag like this one. And fuck those taggie blankets he says.

[mothergoosemouse]

Dude. Replacement lovies are a FAIL, as far as my little people are concerned. All three of my kids have the same model, and they can tell them apart. No substitutions will do.

Tacy's has been left in a Northern NJ car dealership (retrieved after a week - the week from hell) and in an Oregon coast motel (shipped to us by the most benevolent motel owner EVAH).

The dolly is a little creepy though.

[the new girl]

MU: EBAY, baby. Like Wooby-World or whatever. I don't even want to tell you what I PAID for that fucking back-up creepster. lmao.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I have no insight only to say that it's hilarious you had to buy another one of those creepy dolls. The check out person must have been like "holy shit. someone buys those?"

All I can think about is: "No I'm Creepy Dolly!" "No I'M CREEPY DOLLY" (think Spartacus).

OR

Will the real Creepy Dolly please stand up. Please stand up. Please stand up.

HA.

[m]

I'm with Erica. Get the new one into the rotation pronto. And buy at least one more. My son had two "lambies," and after a while, I stopped trying to pretend that they were one and the same. (Probably after he found the clone in his bottom drawer.) He didn't give a shit, as long as he had one to cuddle at bedtime.

[Kayla]

BTW where did you get the little ones crib set - it is so whimsical...

[Megan]

We keep an extra blankie at grandma's. Spare blankie is significantly more clean and sparkly, but still used enough to do the trick. I would throw new dolly into the rotation asap. And I would order a third dolly just in case.

[selzach]

OMG, I love the Jersey hair. So true. I grew up in the Tri-State area and I'd say 90% of the girls in my high school yearbook have those bangs. And I'm still laughing over "shit the bed". I'm gonna have to adopt that phrase!

I like the spa idea without revealing there are two creepy dolls. If she knows there are two, she may decide she needs both. My son has identical woobies (blankies) that we used to rotate. He eventually figured out there were two, so we went through a spell of him needing both. Lord help you if you couldn't find each of them. Now he prefers the "soft" one. Damned if I know which one it is. They both look equally grubby and worn to me!

[julie]

Argh, curses on the person that let on these things could move! DD didn't have a lovey just binkies and was very much under the belief that they could not leave the crib or carseat. Period. Ever. Period.

However, like you, we faced the issue of replacement rotation and for her it was a matter of dropping a binkie mid-night and howling until we recovered it. (Hint: finding round roly binkies in the middle of the night = awful way to spend the night) So we cleverly put 5 of them in teh crib at once. Ha ha, lose one, just reach out and grab another. Guess what? She was so excited and started sleeping with 1 in her mouth and 2 in each hand and GOD HELP YOU ALL if any oen of them went missing. 5 times the odds of having to binkie-hunt at 3 am.

My point: rotation now = smart. but for the love of pete don't let her know there are two b/c then you have twice the risk of losing one. Unless you have another dozen stashed in a closet somewhere, you're courting a meltdown.

[jean]

I would be insulted by the New Jersey comment but it was true. We use to call those girls "hair bitches".

[Amelia Sprout]

I say she goes to the spa now, before it gets much worse, and comes out looking refreshed. Don't let her see both, way troublesome.

We have yet to adopt a lovey at our house, and I'm terrified it will be something I hate. Good thing I never gave her the creepy (totally nothing but synthetic) doll my MIL gave us.

[ElizabethSheryl]

You can transition her by saying she had a bath which will explain the different smell/newness! I think that you should transition her before she gets too damaged, and I wouldn't do a rotation thing because she'll catch on and like another commenter said, then want both.

[Karly]

Could you maybe make a big ordeal over Baby being all dirty and have TLNG help you put her in the washing machine and then the dryer and then later MAGICALLY retrieve the NEW baby from the dryer after she's good and warm? Then you know, just be all happy that she's so clean and maybe TLNG will never know? Or maybe TLNG will end up bitching to her therapist about how you TOTALLY LIED TO HER and OMG worst mother ever.

[Maura]

When my brother's first child lost her babydoll "baby Kate" (at ground zero no less)they told her she was on vacation at a Spa. When the new babydoll was presented to her it made perfect sense that she was all spiffy and new since she had just spent a week and a half at the Spa. The hard part was explaining what a Spa was. My niece is now in 4th grade and has no recollection of the misadventures of "baby Kate".

[Jen]

Oh man, my friend has a daughter who just loves her "Baby" too - it actually looks frighteningly similar to TLNG's baby. She also bought a second one when the older one started to look a little haggard, but her daughter was NOT HAVING IT. Just this morning we were discussing how the baby had lost an appendage overnight and she was forced to bust out the needle and thread to perform emergency surgery.

I say attempt to introduce the new one, as one commenter said, ASAFP. Good luck!

[Swistle]

We tried just adding the duplicate to the circulation, so everyone would be equally filthy. But then the child wanted BOTH lovies.

[Kayla]

Let me tell you - you had me cracking up out loud. IT IS a great thing I lost my job and I can read this from home because otherwiese my boss would have known I was not doing work:)

I wish I can tell you something clever but I really have nothing. The only thing I can tell you NOT to do is to feed the little new girl some crap line like "the mouse got to it"!!!!! Ya that was the line my mother fed me when she got rid of my pacifier!!!!! 27 years later I still remember that day...

Hugs and thanks for the laugh
Keila

PS. I swear you can do a side by side shot of Dolly before Meth and Dolly after Meth because seriously the missing braid and everything she looks like a straight up mug shot!!!!!

[Bre]

Man, I wish I could help, but my older kids were always"encouraged" to keep their lovies in bed where they couldn't be lost, and the baby only gets attached to dispoable objects: a receipt here, an old soap dispenser there, maybe one of the dog's chewy toys (can you tell she's my third?).

My best guess would be to try the swap before it's necessary, so if it doesn't work you can fall back on the 'It's Not A Replacement Friend, It's An EXTRA Friend" plan of attack.

[Erica]

For the love of all that's holy, DO NOT wait until the lovey is expired to give TLNG the new one. Kids don't fall for that shit. You need to get the new lovey into rotation ASAFP. Then, when the originally lovey goes to lovey heaven, get a third and put it into rotation.

Maddie's got three of the same blankies and they're even different colors. I've rotated them as needed for washing since she was teeny. That way, she has a preference for the blankets, but not a PARTICULAR blanket. I can't tell you how many times it's saved my ass. Puke on a blankie? No problem, I got a fresh one right here!

[A]

I vaguely remember hearing - when the subject came up - about a friend (I really can't remember at this point) who, once the old lovie shit the bed (I also use this term regularly), took it to the "doctors" or the "spa" or something as equally ridiculous and lovie would come home as good as new. You know, because washers just don't do the trick. Ta-da!

[Shannon]

Hmm...I would try introducing dolly #2 along with dolly #1 and then maybe at some point Thing 1 can disappear? But she may just know the difference and reject Thing 2. You won't know til you try and I doubt there's a magic formula. Either she'll go for it, or she won't.

My theory is that kids somehow know which blanket or toy you would most NOT want them to have as their lovey and that's the one they choose. My mom made half a dozen lovely baby blankets for my daughter, any one of which I would have been happy to have her drag around for years. Instead? She picked one that was given to us by a distant relative. The fabric has an awful colour scheme, it was handmade (nice) but the two pieces of fabric were sewn together inside out (not nice) so the image on the outside says "Baby" as a mirron image instead of normal. I HATE IT. But there was no changing her mind and here we are 5.5 years later and she's still sleeping with that lovey every night. This summer she left it in a hotel in North Dakota and I PAID to have the hotel ship it back to us because OMG NO SLEEPING WIHTOUT THE SPECIAL BLANKET.

[Gillian]

My friend has a 2 year old. My friend's 2 year old has a "best friend." And my genius friend bought 3 "best friends" from day one, and surreptitiously rotated them for a year.

And then the kid came up to her one day, tears in her eyes, WITH A BEST FRIEND IN EACH HAND. "Oh my gosh!" Mommy screeched. "You have TWO best friends?? That is SOOOO cool!" Puzzled looks from baby, peering back and forth between the two, and then big smiles. "Wow," says Mommy, "this best friend is stinky. Maybe we should wash her?"

Now, the kid will come up and stay "Stinky", and hand over best friend, and then go collect a clean one to tote around. It worked. So, perhaps just out and out introducing Dolly #2, and making it exciting?

God, I don't know. But I'm heading out to buy another lovey this instant, because my life cannot depend on keeping track of a little blue blanket with a dog's head attached. *I think it's a dog.*

[Charlotte]

Hahahaha! New Dolly will NEVER be accepted! That's my experience anyway. If there's a part of Old Dolly that TLNG rubs on her nose or cuddles with, I would cut a part of that off and hide it for dire emergencies and then hope to all holy Hell that you never lose Old Dolly.

[rebecca]

Wash Creepy Lovey #2 right away, then throw her in a big pile of TLNG's dirty clothes. It will help with the smell. Don't try to fool TLNG...she'll know there is an impostor in the ranks. But you can introduce Creepy Lovey #2 as, maybe, her sister. Or cousin. And hoep that TLNG will bond with her. Of course, you might be stuck with TWO LOVIES at that point, which would suck. My guy always transferred his loyalty to lovies pretty easily. A day or two of bait and switch and he adopted whatever new gadget/doll/toy was handy. For amusement, read 'Knuffle Bunny' and know that Moe Willems really GETS IT about the lovies.