O Solo Mio

Today I had to parent The Littlest New Girl entirely on my own.  Normally, I am with The Littlest New Girl for most of the day and The Man comes home in time to participate in the evening routine.  Tonight The Man had to work late. 

My Little Sister is away on vacation (woot?) and so TLNG and I didn't even have our daily late-afternoon diversion.  I don't know about you but I find that seeing different surroundings, different toys (The Nephew's) and different faces does loads of good for both babies and mommies.  I find that it breaks up the day, gives me a moment to [check my email] catch my breath and can 'reset' the baby's mood [when] if she's cranky.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not complaining [too much], really.  It's fun to be with TLNG all day.  For real and serious.  We went to the post office and to the bank.  We went to Target.  We played and took a walk.  She crawled away from me repeatedly, which I find wildly funny (because, like, where is she going?)  She kissed the baby in the mirror and looked at the babies on the wall and pulled herself up to standing on everything.  She swished and spit all kinds of food.  She got a bath.  And now she's [rolling around and calling out] sleeping in her bedroom.

But I'll tell you this: you don't realize how much you're looking forward to hearing that garage door go up, until you know for a fact that it's not going to.  There's just you and the baby.  And it's a good day, but it's a loooong day.

I am very thankful to have such an amazing partner (as well as such a close and close-by Little Sister.)  I know that he's missing us and feeling sad that he didn't get to see the baby at all today.  But still, I can only imagine what it's like for people who do it on their own every day, all the time.  There are millions of single parents and let me just say to you, my sisters and brothers, I give you real r-e-s-p-e-c-t.  I can't imagine a more demanding job.  (I know that it's rewarding.  But still.  It's hard, isn't it?)

So, if you're a mom or a dad whose garage door never goes up in the evening time, know that I'm thinking of you tonight. 

With my last little bit of energy. 

(Well, my NEXT to last bit.  My LAST bit is going to go to finishing off The Man's frozen yogurt.  I KNOW!  Frozen yogurt!  But it's all that's in there and well, he's at a meeting.)

Comments

[Denice]

I know it can be really hard to be alone all day with a baby. I'm not a single parent, but my husband works about 14 hours a day. He almost never makes it home before she goes to bed, and when he does, he parks his ass on the couch and watches TV and does almost nothing to help me. But I'm not bitter or anything…

[Stimey]

I agree. My husband only gets home 45 minutes before the kids go to bed, but that 45 minutes makes a difference.

[Kelly]

Word. By 5:00pm, I am openly and unabashedly walking around the house half-mad, shrieking, "I am SO going on vacation, by myself!"

[Cheri]

I am an Army wife and have been doing the solo gig with my gorgeous 7 mo old since January. It totally sucks not have that "door go up" and get a break in the evening from Daddy. I keep remembering how much Daddy is missing out on and realize that it is probably harder on him. Thanks for thinking of us!!

[Manic Mommy]

I reconnected with an old work friend when our boys ended up at the same preschool. She had left her (deadbeat) husband when pregnant with her daughter. She's raising two (now 6 and 3) on her own.

I. don't. know. how. she. does. it.

[amanda]

oh how i love the sound of the car in the driveway - we usually fly out to meet him before he even has a chance to open the car door!!

i do love my days with the bean, but i also love me some baby/daddy time :)

and you are so right, i have not a clue how a single parent manages!!

[meg]

I'm doing the same thing on Thursday. Instead of cursing Nathan and drinking his beer (yogurt?) I'll be all altruistic and think of the single parents.

P.S. Next time your sister's away, come here! Come here! Or both come here!

[Tessie]

He Who Travels Forfeits Any And All Foodstuffs, that's my motto.

[mimi]

When I was on my mat leave with Munchkin, I PACED myself for 5:10: god help Pynchon if he lost track of time (!!) and didn't roll in at that time. No, it wasn't a tragedy, but man, I'm a grownup, I need to talk to grownups and little babies are hard work!

Now, you know, now that we're both working and she's older, it's nowhere near as vital that everyone be there at the appointed hour. Phew.

And? "where is she going?" I never thought of that, but that IS really funny.

[Bruce]

"you don't realize how much you're looking forward to hearing that garage door go up, until you know for a fact that it's not going to. There's just you and the baby. And it's a good day, but it's a loooong day."

...with this statement, you hit the nail on the head! My wife gets back tonight after a two day conference. I've been waiting all day for her to open the front door (btw, I'm a full time Mr Mom!)

[Clink]

I have a new friend whose daughter is 2 days younger then mine. Her husband is gone 3 weeks and home 3 weeks. It seems as if her life is in a constant state of upheaval. Honestly I do not know how she does it!

[Cara]

I ABSOLUTELY agree with you! My husband works late every Monday night, and those days seem so very long, just me and the baby. I can't imagine being a single parent and never hearing the garage door go up at night. All the respect in the world to those single parents out there.

[mothergoosemouse]

My favorite aunt is a single mother by choice. I had literally no idea just how hard it had been for her until I had Tacy.

Now I bow and scrape at her feet.

[Josie]

As a single parent for the last 16 years, thanks for the shout out.
It's hard either way. Just know if you love them and are supportive - you'll make it. I promise :)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Yeah those days suck. And I jump at the sound of our screen door.

I'm like Pavlov's dog.

[andrea]

5.30pm SUNDAY that was supposed to say. As in all day Saturday, overnight Saturday (10 month olds are supposed to sleep through the night? Ha. Not in this household) and all day Sunday.

BTW, TNG, have been meaning to ask you since linking back to your CIO stuff through your recent video monitor post. Has it worked long term? Ie. Can you put her to bed awake and she falls asleep on her own? One of my girls will NOT sleep unless she is patted/back-rubbed to dead-asleep and it's wearing a bit thin - thinking of controlled crying soon.

[andrea]

Mine was away on the weekend. From first thing Sat morning to 5.30pm. The weekend is usually my take-a-deep-breath time. And the twins (10 months old) and I ALL HAD COLDS. I too developed even more respect for single parents. And single parents of baby twins? HEROES.

[Backpacking Dad]

Mine had to spend last night in L.A.

We're alone every day anyway, but usually I get about an hour of silent me-time when she gets home and does the bath-bed routine after dinner. So yesterday was a long day.

[The Domestic Goddess]

It must be National Partner Work Late Night.
Mine ain't home either. Sigh. That means they did not see him at all today, since he was gone when they woke up and they just went to bed and he ain't home. It was a great day, got lots done. but it was a loooooong day. Too long. Plus, I miss him, too!