Balancing The Scales

Peanut Butter Balls. OMFG.

Here's a recipe for Peanut Butter Balls. It's so good, Shriek House and I are going to found a 12 step program to deal with detox. After the holidays, of course. (Just one more, please!)

Anyway.

This is a recipe for Buckeyes, probably, but I'm not about to go getting all fussy with the toothpick in there and chocolate only half-way up and neither, apparently, was my mother--bless her soul--and so, we all get to say BALLS! during the holiday season.  And I can think of no better homage to my mother than chocolate, peanut butter and saying BALLS! on a holiday.  Really, you should have known her. She was a remarkable woman.

BUT if you are fuss-prone, or want the real deal, you can stick a toothpick in it (HA!) and dip the balls into the chocolate only part-way up.

All righty. Here we go. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Peanut Butter Balls (of heaven)

Ingredients:

1 1/2 C. Peanut Butter (the recipe calls for creamy but I use chunky because I'm edgy like that)
1/2 C. Butter, softened
1 tsp Vanilla
4 C. SIFTED Confectioner's Sugar
6 oz of Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips (HAHAHAHA! I used, like, the whole bag.)
2 TBSP Shortening (I use Earth Balance veggie shortening with no nasties but if you're into Crisco, do your thing.)

Instructions:

1. Line baking sheet with waxed paper and set aside.

2. In a medium bowl, mix peanut butter, butter, vanilla and confectioner's sugar* with hands to form a smooth, stiff dough. (I'm going to avoid the mix-with-hands-to-make-it-stiff thing.) Shape into balls** and refrigerate.

3. Melt chocolate & shortening in a double boiler (I use a pyrex bowl over some simmering water) until smooth & remove from heat.

4. Submerge each ball into the chocolate and fish it out with two forks.  Drain a little of the excess chocolate & return to waxed paper.

5. Chill 30 minutes to set.

6. Welcome to the dark side.

 

*Make sure that you SIFT the sugar BEFORE you MEASURE the sugar.  4 cups sifted is something like 3847765 cups unsifted.  It will fuck up the balls, for REALZ.

**The recipe calls for 2 tsp per ball but I make them considerably smaller.  Maybe 1 tsp. This is just my preference, as I like them 1-bite pop-ems, instead of 2-bite lick-the-melted-chocolate-off-your-fingers-at-a-party. But, whatever you like.

 

Grandma's Orange Cookies

Does anyone find it ironic that I'm putting a recipe for cookies on a site called Balancing the Scales? As in...MAAAAYBE THAT'S WHY I CAN'T?!

Ahem.

Anyway.  It's the holidays.

Grandma's Orange Cookies (it makes a lot of cookies)

Ingredients:

1C Butter
2C Sugar
2 Eggs
4 1/2 C flour
2 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Baking powder
1C Buttermilk (Or you can make your own like I did*)
Rind & Juice of one orange
(I added a little pinch of salt)

Instructions:

Cream sugar & butter til fluffy.  Beat in eggs, one at a time. Add orange juice & rind.  Sift dry ingredients and add alternately with milk.  Drop on greased cookie sheet & bake at 350 for 8 min.

(I found 8 min in my oven was not enough time. 9-10 minutes did it.  You don't want them overdone, though, or they dry out.  These cookies come out cake-like and not too sweet. Which makes a nice balance with the sweet frosting.)

Orange Frosting

Ingredients:

1/4 C Butter
1 lb Powdered sugar
Juice & rind of one orange

Instructions:

Mix together & frost cookies.

(Yes. That's for real what the recipe said. I was all, 'WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF INSTRUCTION IS THAAAT?!' But I just ran the mixer over the butter for a little bit, heaped the sugar on top and added the rind/juice and mixed it.  Turned out great.)

*I made the buttermilk (which is called sour milk, but I think that's gross, so I just say I made my own buttermilk) by putting 1 TBSP of white vinegar in a measuring cup and then putting milk up to the 1C mark.  I let it sit for 5-10 minutes or so and used it. I couldn't tell the difference in the taste of the cookies. They taste just like I remember. So, maybe my mom and gramma were ALSO [too lazy] tied to the house with napping kids and so were unable to go to the store to get buttermilk.